C works VERY hard during the week. Last week was especially challenging because he was having to play catch up from our lovely lil vaca! There were THREE days in a row that that he was not able to spend five min. with the boys! Every time he would "try," they would already be back asleep. I was really struggling with the fact that work was coming before family bonding.
I grew up with a father who thought that by working so hard and providing for his family meant he was showing us his love, that was far from the case. We desperately needed him I needed his love and attention. I needed him to get down on the floor and play with me. It is such an old school way of "parenting." As hard as it was, I needed to bring this concern to C's attention. I need to be an advocate for my sons, who need their father NOW, EVERYDAY, not just when they are able to play catch and throw a football around "like what C intended."
No, they most likely will not remember these moments of blowing raspberries together, tickling on the floor, playing patty cake, or ride the pony on my knee, but what they are doing is building trust, building a foundation of a loving relationship. Quality time is so crucial in EVERY period of life. Even infants need to know their parents love them and are PROUD of all their "tiny" accomplishments, like picking up a piece of rice with their pincer grasp for the first time or 100th time.
What happened when I brought this up? A little hesitation a little frustration, yes, but ultimately, a father more open to getting on his knees and playing with his sons!
High Five anyone???
2 comments:
I can sooooooo relate to this post. My husband is the provider and he focuses on that. I know he feels the pressure having two little boys to feed that he never wants to give up the opportunity to make money. My view is a bit different, I know we need money but I think there is a line to be drawn in the sand. At some point you have to remember family comes first and money can't be your focus. Who cares if you have nice things if you never get to enjoy them. This point in time with the boys only lasts so long so why miss anything if you don't have to. At the end of the day hubby is so tired he just wants to zone out or take a nap. Of course he doesn't but I do have to remind him to be an active participant instead of just sitting on the couch and watching the boys. I know he will prefer when they are a bit older but he needs to be in it now, like you said, when memories and attachment is so important.
Hello from ICLW - adorable pictures! Congratulations to you!
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