To the mothers at heart...

Happy Mothers day! Even if we are not mothers, we are mothers at heart. We long to hold our child and nurture them. So in a sense, we are mothers. Each month brings new hope, much disappointment, and we morn the loss of our child that may never be. This is a VERY difficult holiday for many of us. I truly hope you enjoyed your day and did what YOU wanted to. Cheers to all of us mom's at heart!

I actually got wished happy mothers day today by my sis-in-law. It was weird, but it almost made me cry. She said it to me because she "knew I would be a mom someday." We'll see. I am still not holding my breath.

Ironically, today was the day of our first IUI. And as I'm writing this I can feel myself ovulating (is that weird?). I had 7 big follicles all above 20... yes SEVEN! When Dr. D came into check my follies, he said "good morning octomom." UGH! I've heard that before though. I am a REALLY good responder to the follistim. My uterine lining was at 13.5. My biggest follie was at 30! The good news is that we only used HALF of the HCG trigger, so hopefully only half of my lil eggies release. I made sure to tell him I DON'T WANT MULTIPLES... maybe two? At this point though I would be happy with one lil bean. But, I am NOT getting my hopes up! Its hard when EVERYONE in the office is saying this is SUCH a good cycle. I respond by saying, ya but I've seen this before, and I'm not getting my hopes up.

I am pretty impressed with C's #'s too! He had 54 million and 91% motility! We abstained one day. I figured the more we get up there the better! The previous IUI cycle we abstained two days and his #'s were lower, 40 mil. The one before that we abstained one day and his #'s were 70 mil. So I figure he must do better doing it everyday! He doesn't complain ;-) (TMI) And of course, I help him out with his sample!

Tomorrow we go back for another IUI. I am REALLY over going to Dr. D's. I feel like I live there! I am so excited to be done with this, what ever the outcome. Although, I know if we do get PG we'll be going once a week (but I won't mind it then, I'm sure!) for the next 12 weeks.

Mothers Day wasn't all too bad. It took so much out of me to call my sis-in-law, who is PG, and wish her a Happy Moms Day (she got PG the first month trying!), but I did it anyway. Of course I called my Mom, who is my best friend! But, the rest of the day I cooked and relaxed with C and laid out by the pool. Overall, not a bad day.

Extremely nervous...

Those follicles took off! I went in Sunday and those six follies were at 21, 19, 19, 18, 17, and 17mm. My RE still didn't want to trigger. He did my blood work and I got a call that my estrogen was at 900! He wanted me to "coast," which means, no injection for the night. I came back Wednesday to check on them, they were at 24, 23, 22, 21, 17mm, and 17mm. Relief! Only four continued to grow. I got my trigger, only they gave me half the amount, 5000 instead of 10,000iu of HCG. This is so the smaller follicles would not release. However, yesterday I went in for my first IUI. Dr. D checked my follicles and they were at 29, 28, 27, 26, 22, and 21mm! They all grew and are HUGE! I have six mature eggs! I was sure Dr. D was going to cancel this cycle and not go through with the IUI! Instead he says, "There is no reason that you should not be pregnant this cycle." He continued, "If for some reason it doesn't work, we need to sit down and discuss other options." Other options! It has only been 2 months! This is the second time I've ever ovulated (that I know of!)! I thought that most RE's would do 3-4 cycles of injectables + IUI!? Am I mistaken?

Well, I guess I have to look at the brighter side... he's pretty confident that I will be pregnant this month!! I'm just nervous about having a litter!!! I swear, when I first started this Dr. D told me that they like to see 2 or 3 follicles, not 6 and they cancel with more than 4. I have been praying that God guides the RE's decisions that they make the right choices for DH and I. science does a lot, but God allows things to happen as well. Please Lord, allow us to be pregnant... with the amount you know we can handle!

I went in for the IUI, which the nurse performs. DH and I were shocked to find out that his post wash sperm count was much lower that the previous time. It came in at 37 million with 89% motility. Last time we abstained 1 day. This time we abstained 2 days! It didn't make sense. I am guessing that today will be higher... maybe he does better when BD ever day! ha ha ha! I was worried at first, but I know of women getting PG with a much lower sperm count and much lower motility level than we had.

Last night I woke up at 2:30am with the worst pain on my right side. I have four eggs on that side, and I know I was ovulating. Why is my left ovary so lazy? I didn't produce any eggs last month on my left and only 2 this time? Anyways, I am still really crampy and bloated. I guess the high estrogen levels make you that way.

I am leaving for my second IUI in 30 min. We have drop off at 8 and IUI at 9. I decided to take a day off so DH and I can BD and then I can relax and take it easy. Yesterday I was so rushed. Gotta take care of my mental health as well :)

To inseminate or not to inseminate...

Last night over turkey meatloaf and mashed potatoes, my DH (Dear Husband) and I were discussing the possibilities of insemination (I mean what else do you talk about over dinner?). Like most men, this is the worst thing possible. It was hell trying to get him to give a semen sample to Dr. D, and now this (Even though he has a VERY good count 270 million and 60 % mobility)? He thought he was done with that. I had to remind him that the good thing about his sample is that he didn't have to produce it in Dr. D's office because we don't live very far. And that I wasn't working at the moment (teacher... off for the summer!) so I was able to help him out in that dept. I mean how sexy is to to ejaculate in a PLASTIC CUP! Anyways, he still was not convinced.

This morning I was doing a little research on Clomid + IUI. The results are outstanding:
The results DOUBLE!! I told my DH that he needed to go with me to my next appt. with Dr. D. I don't make DH go to all of them because I feel like its a waste of time and I would rather him be bringin home the bacon!