Lets Do This! IVF#3

Just finished my last day of Lupron!  Woot woot!!

Lining Check... DONE!
Bloodwork... DONE!

See my twins behind the dildo cams?  They are such good boys!

I've been pretty good on the lupron except for the last few days.  I've been super emotional.  It has not helped that my brother and his girlfriend just announced that they are "accidentally" expecting.  Hearing my moms joy for this new baby to be just broke me.  Everyone knows what we have been through this past year, so much loss and heartbreak.  She knows we are going through IVF again.  It made me want to STOP sharing my story with anyone.  NO one gets the pain.  No one knows what its like to go through IF.  This just makes me want to keep it all in, and share with only my IVF and IF sisters.

Everyone is just so excited over this baby, which I know i will love too, but the timing couldn't be more terrible.  Here we are, married, doing what is 'right', and they accidentally get knocked up, while i go and give my self drugs, shots in the gut!  She didn't even want kids.  When I said congrats to her, she was like, 'haha ya thanks.'  She has no idea the gift she has been given.

My heart breaks, but I am holding on to a tiny bit of hope for us, for my boys, who are also praying a baby!

Tomorrow is going to be DAY 1 for stims!  Here is what my meds are...

AM-baby aspirin, 5iu lupron, 1 cc menopur

PM- 100iu gonal-f

Last IVF I stimmed for 11 days.  I'm guessing it will be about the same!

LETS DO THIS!

Here we GROW again... IVF #2

I started my Stims three days ago (three shots/day!) and I went in for my CD3 blood work today.  Everything is looking good... except my poor tummy that is covered in bruises.

Here is my current schedule...

I'm down to 5 units of Lupron in the morning.  Lupron  is super easy, no pain.  The Menpur (pictured above) is a bit of a pain because I have to mix the liquid with the powder, which makes it thicker and harder to inject.  I push a little in at a time, other wise it burns.  I also rub it for a bit after or it feels like it balls up under my skin.  The Gonel-F is a pen and is super simple and I take that one in the evening. I go back for blood work and ultrasound Wednesday to check my follicles... I can't believe we are already here!  Next week is ER and it will be here before I know it!

The menapur

The needles are not big, but are big enough to bruise my tummy!

Along with all my IVF meds here is what I am doing naturally to improve our success...

1. Taking Pregnitude 2x a day
2. Prenatals
3. CoQ10 - Chris and I are BOTH taking this
4. Daily exercise
5. Clean diet
6. Baby aspirin (per my Dr.)
7. No alcohol - Neither Chris or myself
8. Shakeology everyday - major superfood supplement shake we LOVE
9. Trusting the Lord.  I feel peace.  I have invited the Lord to be part of this and want His perfect will for our family.
10. Fermented Fish oil, Kombucha - boosting my immune system so I stay healthy during this process (we do not believe in Flu Vaccines)

More updates to come!  And thank you for checking out my blog all of you! :D

Crazy busy weekend...

I just got home from a baby shower and C's family xmas party.  I also had a dr appt this morning and will continue to have one daily til ER.

Yesterdays appointment went well and I am happy to report that some of the follicles are taking off and leaving some behind!  I'm not sure how many there are but I don't think we'll have 20 for the ER (yay!).  Currently, they range from 10-16mm and estrogen is at 1500.  Dr. C (the other RE in the practice) says that she wants them at 18mm in diameter, which means, that if your have a 20 x 16mm its diameter would be 18mm and that would most likely make them mature.

I am a little bummed because I thought we would be triggering (taking the HCG shot) monday night and ER would be Wednesday and its looking like I'm going to trigger Tuesday and ER is going to be Thursday.  But, whatever is best for my lil eggies, is okay with me :)

I am still taking 225 iu of Gonal F and 75 iu Menapur and 5 iu Lupron .  Tomorrow they want me to take the Lupron before I come in for my appointment and take the Menapur with me to the appointment.  Not sure why?  Hopefully I do not have to take it tomorrow... it seriously burns!!

My tummy is so sore and tender from all the shots.  I seriously have lil pin holes all over it!  Also, I am feeling more and more pressure down there and its getting really uncomfortable during the pelvic u/s.

Will update more tomorrow!!

**I am also required to take baby asprin to help with blood flow, contiue my metformin for pcos, and of course, a prenatal vitamin.  I'm taking citra natal.  I like it because it comes with an omega 3 pill too :)

37...

was my estrogen yesterday... a measly 37 (Boo!).  Dr. R was a little concerned so they had me come back today to make sure SOMETHING was going on in there.  I had some measurable ones on each ovary, THANK GOD, but they were still really little.  They ranged from 5mm to 7mm.  I had to give more blood today as well, which hurt because she did the same arm as yesterday!.  I have been taking 75iu of menopur, 150iu Gonal F and 5iu Lupron.  Everything stays the same except he upped my Gonal F to 225.  I'm praying they start to grow.  The good news is that there aren't too many and they are NOT growing too fast!  I'm happy about that.

So... I took some of your advice from yesterday, and did my shots in the belly.  It was MUCH better.  I iced before the Lupron shot and it went right in (maybe my skin isn't as tough on my belly?).  I did the Menopur nice and S-L-O-W and that went well too.  It didn't take me 20 minutes this time either.  Progress is being made!  Thank you!

C is flying out today to Dallas for work.  I am going to my parents for the next few days.  I am really excited, I love going home.  But, we are keeping IVF a secret so its going to be interesting hiding these shots from my mother!  On thanksgiving, I hid  the Lupron way back in a Tupperware container in the veggie drawer.  She didn't see it, but I think she was distracted with all the company over.  We'll see if I can get away with it!  I'm not good at hiding stuff from my mom :)

My next appt is Thursday... Praying 225iu does the trick!

I've regressed...

completely and utterly regressed.  I am now afraid to give myself the shots.  It is ridiculous!  I have been standing here in my kitchen for the last 20 min. icing my leg, trying to shoot, then icing the other leg, then trying to shoot, then my belly, etc.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?  I'll tell you what is wrong.  Those dang Lupron needles feel dull and Menopur HURTS!  I did the Lupron this morning and I swear I stabbed myself then had to stab FURTHER to shove the needle in!  This is nuts!  Now I cannot build up the courage to do the Menopur!  After yesterdays experience... burning while injecting and then feeling the ball of what feels like a gel under the skin and not to mention the sore spots on the leg that you can feel the NEXT DAY!
I cannot go through this everyday.  Its making me crazy!  Does anyone know the best place to shoot Menapur?  I wish I had someone to give me these dang shots!

Here we grow...

I just got home from Dr. R's.  I think I should just move right in since I'm going to be spending so much time there the next two weeks!  I went yesterday for my baseline U/S (ultrasound) and B/W (blood work).  Blood came back "nice and low" according to Tressa, my nurse.  My lining was also thin and my ovaries still showed tons of follicles (THANK YOU PCOS!).    Dr. R gave the okay to start the stims today!  I had them sent to the office so Tressa could show me how mix and shoot all the different meds.  Its pretty overwhelming.  I made C come so he can be my second pair of eyes and remember things that I may not... although we all know he will NOT be helping me with the injections! LOL.

I did 10iu's of Lupron this morning and then did my first shot of Menopur.  Unfortunately I'm doing Menopur and Gonal F.  I was looking forward to the Follistim because it comes premixed with a nice little pen to do the shots, kind of like an epipen.  Menopur and Gonal F you have to mix and powder and a fluid to get the drug ready to be injected.  Its a pain.  Oh well.  Hopefully 10 more days of this!  Tressa thinks that the ER (Egg Retrieval) is going to be on Wednesday, the 15th "if I'm an average patient."  We'll see though.  My ovaries are really good at making eggs (again, thank you pcos), when I am taking meds.  Lets just hope they are good quality.  I can't wait to find out!

One of my fears is that my eggs shell is going to be too hard for C's sperm to penetrate.  Dr. D mentioned that he thought that may be an issue and recommended ICSI.  And Dr. R never mentioned that and thinks they'll be fine.  What would happen if none of them fertilized?  I don't even want to think about it!  I need to keep the Faith that God lead us hear, and not let FEAR creap in!

My next appointment is Monday.  I go in for just for b/w and then Wednesday I go in for b/w and u/s.  Praying these little follies start to G-R-O-W!