Stims Day SEVEN! IVF #3

I went in for another follicle and E2 check!  Still waiting for my E2 levels... praying they don't get too high!  But as for my follicles, my RE is very happy!  Everything is growing well and she keeps comparing this cycle with the one that worked!  I'm on much lower meds.  I was taking 225 iu of Gonal and now I'm only taking 150 iu.  Today my follicles (about 20 of them) were measuring 10mm to 13mm and one was at 15mm and lining was already at 10!

Starting tomorrow, I'm going in daily!  They want to closely monitor me and make sure I don't over stim.  Well actually, I am not going in for a monitoring appt, but they are going to show me how to mix and inject the HGH (Human Growth Hormone).  So starting tomorrow my poor belly will be taking FOUR injections a day :(  I'm getting so sensitive too.  I am hesitating with each shot because they are really starting to hurt.  I am full of tiny holes and bruises.

My RE thinks I will be ready for trigger Monday or Tuesday which will be 10 or 11 days of stims. ER will likely be Wednesday or Thursday!  Yippee!!!  I can't wait!

Today I'm feeling a bit headachy, with aching ovaries.  I'm also exhausted but that could just be from spending the whole day at Disneyland!  C is gone to Nevada for a work conference, so the boys and I have been staying busy... Aquarium Wednesday, Disney Thursday, and today rest! Zzzzzz....

I will admit, I've been having mixed emotions.  I was talking to one of my gf's about having more kids.  She is D-O-N-E and happy with her two girls.  At moments, I do feel like I could be done too and question myself trying again.  The boys are getting older and the thought of starting all over does worry me a bit.  I've also thought about the fact that we will likely have extra embryo's.  What will we do with them?  Traveling with two kids is a piece of cake, what if we have twins again?  Will we still be able to travel?  I do think part of the reason I want more is because I've only had one pregnancy and I've wanted to experience it one more time!  Not to mention I love my boys so freakin much, and I feel like I have more love to give!

In any regard, I am moving forward.  Looking forward to seeing what God will do... :)

I will update with my E2 level once I get the call

Lets Do This! IVF#3

Just finished my last day of Lupron!  Woot woot!!

Lining Check... DONE!
Bloodwork... DONE!

See my twins behind the dildo cams?  They are such good boys!

I've been pretty good on the lupron except for the last few days.  I've been super emotional.  It has not helped that my brother and his girlfriend just announced that they are "accidentally" expecting.  Hearing my moms joy for this new baby to be just broke me.  Everyone knows what we have been through this past year, so much loss and heartbreak.  She knows we are going through IVF again.  It made me want to STOP sharing my story with anyone.  NO one gets the pain.  No one knows what its like to go through IF.  This just makes me want to keep it all in, and share with only my IVF and IF sisters.

Everyone is just so excited over this baby, which I know i will love too, but the timing couldn't be more terrible.  Here we are, married, doing what is 'right', and they accidentally get knocked up, while i go and give my self drugs, shots in the gut!  She didn't even want kids.  When I said congrats to her, she was like, 'haha ya thanks.'  She has no idea the gift she has been given.

My heart breaks, but I am holding on to a tiny bit of hope for us, for my boys, who are also praying a baby!

Tomorrow is going to be DAY 1 for stims!  Here is what my meds are...

AM-baby aspirin, 5iu lupron, 1 cc menopur

PM- 100iu gonal-f

Last IVF I stimmed for 11 days.  I'm guessing it will be about the same!

LETS DO THIS!