Wednesday, September 21, 2016

FET with PGS

I don't even know what number FET this is, but I know this one is going completely different! Not sure if it's the new protocol? Being on BCP's so long bc of our trip? Or just a fluke thing? Well, we had some big bumps in the road this FET cycle! First I've never had to do bcp's and Lupron for an FET. After I stopped the pills, I had a period, but then my lining was still thick! My re had me stay on the Lupron a week longer to hopefully help it thin. Then I went back and there was fluid in it 😖 so then I had to have it drained a few days later! Finally, I started my estrogen shots! Did one round of intralipids, I go back Monday for a lining check. Just this past Monday my lining was already at 13😳!  Re said it looked great and shouldn't get much thicker. We are finally on track. Transfer is going to be in 12 days!!!! We plan on transferring two PGS normals... After two years trying for a sibling for our twins and countless tears, we are praying this is it! We are also adding lovenox soon!

Right now we are in Santa Barbara! My DH just opened an office here on state street, expanding his business! We love it here! I'm so extremely proud of him! God is so good!

Sunday, September 18, 2016

I could pinch myself!

I thought about not updating the blog.  It has been so nice to disconnect! I thought about what it would be like to just [hopefully] surprise you all that I would be pregnant [God willing].  Well I'm not... yet. I don't have too much to update, but that things are progressing.

We had an amazing summer.  It flew by.  My boys are growing leaps and bounds, they are expert travelers, visiting three countries this summer, Montenegro, Greece (many Islands) and Italy.  I can't help but feel so blessed and ask myself, 'How did I get so lucky?' God has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams.  I could pinch myself... but this is my reality...

I finally feel content.  I know where we are is a great place.  I know God is with us no matter what, baby or no baby. What a blessing that I was able to carry two babies at once. They are such miracles.

After many bumps in the road, we are 2 weeks away from our FET transfer... stay tuned!

FYI on Instagram I had to change my name... @twinandangelmomma for privacy reasons!

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Major update!

Hello! I'm alive! There is so much to update! I'm on my phone so I'm going to sum it up!

Found a new RE, Dr Potter! Ironically he was on the OC housewives show this week... If you watch that show ;) Major update ladies!!!! I had a hysteroscopy done today by him, even though I had one done in December by a different RE he "wanted to see for himself."

I had a uterine septum removed twice before I had my twins. Today he went in today there was still a residual septum!!!! I couldn't believe it!!!!! This is why we can't get pregnant or stay pregnant! How we had our twins is a freakin miracle!

He just clipped it off pretty quickly! The nurse said, "the tissue where the septum was is beautiful now!" I was in tears! After all this heartache , we found our why! Praise Jesus! I can't believe it! And btw I was awake and had no pain meds!

I know I'm going to have a lot of babies in heaven! I can't believe this was the cause! 😢💔 I have new hope for the future!

We have a busy summer planned! Leaving for Yosemite at 5am tomorrow, then Europe July 27! As soon as I start my next cycle I start bcp's to prep for this FET! It's so different. You do bcp's, Lupron, E2 shots, then the progesterone gel. He also wants to test me for NK cells and I'm doing a gluclose test to see if I need metformin for pcos. He is on it! I'm so thankful I found him! God is good!

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

I'm alive!

heartbroken. But I'm alive.

Seriously. I don't think we would have ever tried for another knowing we would be put through such hell. I think I need a break from all things IF. Last summer sucked. We had two transfers and two BFN's. This summer we are going to travel. We are booking a trip Europe, with our boys in August, plus a few other mini trips before.

I know we have four normal blasts. But honestly I'm so scared to even transfer them in fear my body will just destroy them. I think a change of RE's is much over due. I am thinking about going back to dr Anderson. He has an 85% success rate. The down side is he will only transfer one embryo. It scares me. There are pro's and cons of one vs two, but According to him, I am very lucky I had a successful twin pregnancy. I guess he has seen a lot of sad outcomes.

There is another dr right next door, Dr Potter, who also has a lot of success. I am going to interview him and see. He will transfer two.

Honestly after going through so much heartbreak, we just want a healthy baby. Lots to consider. I feel drained. I can't even pray about it any more. I'm just done.

Yesterday I got hit with a triple whammy... Diarrhea, vomiting, fever... And I started AF :( the good fortune continues. I think it was food poisoning. Not eating Mexican food for a long time!

Friday, May 6, 2016

Chemical! IVF #3

Or a big fat negative! I noticed today that all my symptoms were gone or practically gone! So I decided to test to know for sure! I have a faintest of faint lines on a FRER! So disappointing.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

7dp6dt Feeling Thankful for Today IVF #3

I am thankful for today. I am thankful that today I feel pregnant, that today, I know one or both of these embabes attached and are growing, and for that I thank God!
Since Monday, my symptoms are getting stronger and stronger! Today 7dp6dt I can feel my bb's getting more sore, my lower stomach is pooching out from bloat and I can't suck it in, I'm exhausted, I feel twinges and crampy off and on, I have waves of nausea (quick moments), I'm getting hungrier and I have a headache. That's a lot!

However, there have been moments today where I'm like, "OH NO, is the bloating gone? My bb's don't hurt anymore?!" I do a self check probably a gazillion times a day.

After having two losses, it is so hard to think past today. I can't. I have to guard my heart. But today I can be so thankful to God for where I am today. Today I know I am pregnant.
Now we are just praying for a high Beta and for them to stick! ❤️🙏🏻 Thank you all for your prayers and words of encouragement! ❤️ you all #ivfsisters
Beta in three more days! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 All of this gives me hope!

I also got a call from my RE. We have FOUR normals out of TEN! I have mixed emotions! It is really good, but if these take, we are done. I asked NOT to know the genders, but She seemed so excited, I know there are girls in there :( all of this is in Gods hands out of my control. If these take, we will pray about what to do with our other embabies. I am a little sad at the moment honking about them.

Monday, May 2, 2016

I Think I Tested Too Early... 5dp6dt IVF #3

My boy Maximus on the SUP with Mommy!
First of all, Thank you for all of your support!  I so appreciate your prayers and words of encouragement!

After my last poas around 3pm, seeing a BFN, I couldn't take it any more... I put those sticks AWAY! Vowing not to test for at least two days so I can get a better answer.  I went to bed feeling hopeless, 100% sure that this didn't work, devastated, bargaining with God, I am going to bed with new found hope tonight!

How am I feeling 5dp6dt? I think I might have tested too soon!  HELLO BLOAT!!!!!  Oh how I missed you!  Its back... its full on!  I should my stomach to my hubby and he confirmed.  He had just got done commenting how flat my stomach was again two days ago.  My bb's are also getting sore, more so on the sides.

This morning I woke up still feeling helpless. Hopeless.  You should read my prayer journal!  Asking God WHY?  WHY does this keep happening to us?  I was then reading in Psalms and I was given this verse...

Reminded again that my hope and trust is in him... and nothing else!

Today my gf Crystal and I took our kiddos to the nature center in New Port Back Bay.  It was the perfect place to get my mind off of all this!  The had a scavenger hunt for the kids to find things in nature... lady bug, tadpoles, pinecone, bark, a log, butterfly, lizard, etc.  The kids LOVED it!  I found it super healing.

As I was walking around, I kept thinking, am I feeling the bloat coming back?  Are my bb's now sore?  OMGosh they are!  I'm not kidding, my stomach is getting more bloated by the min. AMAZING.

I am keeping those tests away.  I'm going to rest in these symptoms.  Pray they keep getting stronger. Wait for BETA Saturday and PRAY these babes STICK!  Please let them be our take home babies!!!!

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