Friday, October 6, 2017

I finally got clearance...

to wean from prednisone!  I officially cheated, and started weaning 2.5 mg SLOWLY at almost 24 weeks, because originally they told me everyone weans between 20-24 weeks.  Then they had me wait til my labs were done... blah blah blah!   Prednisone is the worst drug I have ever been on!  It is definitely a love/hate relationship because I firmly believe we would not have this miracle without it, but the side effects... rapid heart rate, moon face, excess hair on face (I got my face waxed 3 times and I might need one more!), etc.  Its horrible!  I cannot wait to look like myself again!  Currently at 22.5 mg from 30 mg and I will be 26 weeks tomorrow! YAY!!!

But I have to admit I do get worried.  My ANA's (Anti-nuclear antibodies) were higher than they would like, 99.33 when they should be less than 20.  When you google about this, of course HORRIBLE things pop up, which I cannot even repeat here.  I'm still trusting God, that he is going to protect our little bambino.

Last night I was drawing my boys a bath and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror...so thankful for this growing basketball... I mean BABY BUMP!  God is good!

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Where has the time gone... SO many updates!

13 weeks have come and gone... so fast! I'm so sorry I've been MIA!  I am sure some of you may have thought the worst, but thankfully we are all doing well!

After my last post at 12 weeks, we shared our BIG news with the world...







After every storm, there is a RAINBOW of HOPE
With the greatest joy and humbled hearts, we are so beyond blessed to announce that we are expecting our rainbow baby BOY, due January 13, 2018.

The four white roses represent our angel babies in heaven.  We will never forget them or this journey. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers, as we know how precious life is, and this miracle baby the Lord has blessed us with.  And for those of you who have prayed so fervently for us, Thank you.

"I did not give up waiting for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry.  he lifted me up out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire.  He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.  He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see what he has done and be amazed.  They will put their trust in the Lord."  
Psalms 40:1-3

We had an outpouring of love, prayers and support.  It was overwhelming.  I was in tears after sharing... because it is scary putting it all out there.  But this is our story and I want God to get the glory!

And Where Are We Now?
Its hard to believe that 13 weeks has flown by!  I'm now 25 weeks pregnant! Praise God!  I'm feeling him kick, roll, and nudge me all the time now!

The first time I felt him I was ALMOST 13 weeks. I know earlier than with the twins!  I didn't believe it myself at first, but there was little popcorn popping in my tummy! It would come and go, some times I wouldn't feel it for days... then I would worry!  I ended up purchasing a doppler... BEST. THING. EVER. It took all my worry away. After RPL (recurrent pregnancy loss), you are damaged. I of course, remind myself constantly of what the Lord said the morning of our transfer, "Trust Me Anyway..."  That has been the BEST thing for this pregnancy, because things are constantly going wrong.

At my 16 week appointment, my OB, for what seemed like the hundredth time, pushed more testing on me.  I reluctantly took the forms.  With my twins, I never did any testing, knowing we wouldn't terminate the pregnancy if something was wrong.  I didn't want to do any testing with this pregnancy either for the same reason and plus I know these tests are wrong all the time and give mothers undue stress.

 I ended up taking my second trimester screening test, just to get my OB off my back.  He called me two weeks later and said our test was positive for down syndrome.  Our anatomy scan was due the following week so he suggested I call them to let them know our test results and schedule a genetic counseling appointment. I was in tears. Praying. Having my friends pray for me and our baby.

C and I talked about it. Chose to NOT go to the counseling appointment, but believe and trust God, that either way, a baby with DS or not, THIS IS OUR BABY.  We did not want to do any further testing and of course we would not terminate.  PLUS, our little one was a genetically NORMAL embryo.  This just shows you how wrong these tests can be.

We went to our anatomy scan, and there were ZERO soft markers that would flag there was a problem or possibility of DS.  He looked perfect, measured 8 oz at 18 weeks.


After all the stress from that blood test, it ended up being a good thing that we did it!  Maybe it was a God thing! The reason the test flared positive is that I have some proteins in the placenta that can cause IUGR (Intra Uterine Growth Restriction) later in pregnancy.  It tends to happen more closer to third trimester.  Of course, again, I worried and prayed like crazy, and again was reminded to, "Trust Him Anyway..."  

Because of our history of RPL and Maximus being so small, 3 lbs 12 oz at 35 weeks, and he started veering off the track at my 30 week appointment, our perinatologist is now monitoring us closely!  I go for a growth scan every four weeks, just like I did with my twins!  Because we didn't do any testing with the twins, it makes me wonder if that is what happened with Maximus' placenta, or was it my whacky immune system attacking it, or was it just a twin thing?  We will never know, but I'm thankful for the extra monitoring.  I go every two weeks, alternating my OB, and now perinatologist.

At my 22 week appointment, our little rainbow measuring right on track again, at 1 lb 1 oz...  And this face... Soooo in love!  I could stare at it all day!  One HUGE benefit of going to the peri,  next to making sure my baby is safe, is getting 3D ultrasounds! Seeing this face makes it so much more real! There is a real baby in there... 



We can't figure out who he looks more like, Rocco or Maximus.  The picture above, he looks just like Rocco, even acts like him!  He is always SO mellow, sleeping in every ultrasound!  He was covering his face the whole time!  I have yet to see him kick around, although I do feel him  so much more now, thankfully!

All my immune stuff is going well.  I just did labs last week and should get the results again tomorrow about my next IVIG.  The last few months I only needed one infusion. I had to wait to start weening fro the prednisone because my ANA's and APA's were still elevated.  My face is SO puffy and I feel so horribly unattractive from them, but they have helped give us our miracle.  I'm not taking too many selfies these days, but I just started weening from them!  I read it takes getting down to 10-15mg to where I will notice a difference in the moon face. I'm going down super slow... 2.5 a week so I don't flare and have any issues.  I'm at 22.5mg a day still.  

Here is the latest bump date, taken yesterday.  I'm not looking at the camera, because honestly, my face is SO puffy.  I'm glad I didn't blow up everywhere else!

Total weight gain so far, 18 lbs!  I feel GREAT!  I LOVE being pregnant!  I am SO thankful for this miracle and second chance!  All the glory to God!



Sunday, July 2, 2017

12 weeks 1 day

Eeeek!  Has it already been almost three weeks since my last post?  I'm so sorry!  I hope I didn't worry anyone!  All is well over here!  No news can = good news :)

The last couple weeks we have been so busy!  We had our annual family reunion camping trip up in El Capitan, which is  20 min past Santa Barbara.  It was so much fun!  It is so gorgeous up there!

Before we left, I had my final appointment with my RE and was released. Had my first appointment with OB. All went well!

Today I'm 12 weeks 1 day!  Thank you LORD for this amazing milestone! 
How I'm feeling... so grateful to be at this point. I never thought we would again, but God is so faithful! I have been SO exhausted lately! I keep thinking it is going to get better but the last couple weeks, 10-12, I've been more tired than ever! I'm ready for bed at 6:30 and can barely stay awake to watch a show! We are binge watching The Walking Dead! Amazing show, we are now on season 6. It super entertaining and I can't stay awake for it the last couple weeks! 

I'm still having some food aversions and smells are still strong for me. But no morning sickness. 

Yesterday, we took our announcement photos and should have them in a few days. I'm not sure when I will be ready to share them with The world, however. We have our 12 week ultrasound Wednesday, so maybe sometime after that. I'm a little terrified, but I know I will be until our little babe is born, so there really isn't a good time, anything can happen any time! Just trying to trust God that this IS our rainbow 🌈 take home baby! 

The only people who know are those who have prayed fervently for us the last few years, and who continue to do so! I knew I would need support no matter what happened. 
It's definitely getting hard to hide this bump any longer, but I'm still in that awkward in between 

Stage... "is she packing on the pounds or pregnant?" My pants and shorts are definitely snug and I don't like pressure on my abdomen, so I unbutton my pants a lot. 
We are just so thankful and humbled that we are to this point. When almost all hope was lost, God has truly blessed us! Never give up hope, put your hope in Jesus! 

Sunday, June 11, 2017

NINE Weeks One Day!

Sorry for the delay! All is well over here, and our little baby boo is still cooking with no sign of ANYTHING wrong! No spotting, or bleeding, you know I ALWAYS check each time I go to the bathroom and I'm pleasantly surprised when there is nothing! This is what happens after RPL, you are scarred, and always expecting the worst.

Monday was our 8 week ultrasound. I was 8 weeks 2 days. I was nervous, of course, but thankfully my symptoms are giving me some peace of mind. I also decided to measure around my tummy for piece of mind since I'm not getting weekly u/s like I did with the twins.  May 24, around my belly button, I measured 32", then June 3, I measured 34"! Less than two weeks and I gained two inches, so I knew this little babe was growing! Although I know it's all bloat... and my daily cereal! I'm obsessed with Barbara's oat squares and almond milk. Same one I ate when I was pregnant with the boys! So funny! But I'm still weighing in at 138.6 as of yesterday, at 9 weeks. So I'm up 1.5 lbs. not too bad! I was much more starving with twins, gaining 13 lbs by week 13 and waking up in the middle of the night to eat! This pregnancy is SOOOOO much easier so far!

I started working out this week too! We have a little garage gym, and I found some pregnancy workout videos on YouTube! They are only like 25-30 min, and perfect! I'm home with the boys and hate going to the gym! I do want to find a yoga class to take once a week however! I LOVED taking prenatal yoga with the boys.


Taken 7 weeks 6 days.  I did my first workout, a yoga video I had!  It felt SO good!
Our last appointment with my RE is next Monday and I will be 10weeks 2 days. But they had me contact my OB and set an appointment, which will be this Friday! I'm going back to the same OB who delivered my twins. I'm excited bc I really want to have a vbac and he is 100% supportive of them is known at the hospital for being pro vbac! I'm a good candidate too! My mom had amazing births, longest was six hours, I being her last was born in less than an hour, almost in the parking lot! Praying I get to experience that and have a golden hour, skin on skin, with our baby! I cry thinking about it!

I'm still on progesterone and E2 shots.  They had be stop the PIO, at 7 weeks 6 days, and have me do crinone twice a day, but I've been cheating and adding an extra dose!  My progesterone was only 16 at my 8 week check up!  With my twins it was 60!  They "aren't concerned" because the suppositories go "strait to the source" but I'm sorry, I'm not!  We only have one week left of them, which is SOOO exciting, however!

I did my repeat labs Wednesday for our immune workup!  Will get results tomorrow to determine my next IVIG dose.  Praying all is still suppressed and our little one is protected!  I go in for an infusion Wednesday.

We are still waiting to announce this miracle to the world until 12 weeks or later. But I ordered a onesie that I want to use as a prop and I'm so excited it came! Going to schedule something in the next few weeks to take a few shots of the boys holding it with hubby and I.

Our little baby boo at 8 weeks 2 days, measuring 8 weeks 2 days and a beautiful heart beat of 149! Praise the LORD!
Each day, is a blessing. I can't believe we made it to nine weeks so far! God is so good!  After all these years and tears, we have our rainbow baby on the way! Never give up hope!

And please ladies, keep praying for our little babe, we need all the prayers we could get! xoxo, Sara

Friday, May 26, 2017

For this Child we have prayed...

I'm six weeks six days today, tomorrow SEVEN WEEKS!  I have not been able to say that since I was pregnant with my twins!  God is so good!

Monday was our ultrasound, to say that I was nervous, would be an understatement.  After so much loss, its like I'm just waiting for bad news.  But, its a miracle...

As of Monday, I was 6 weeks and 2 days and our little peanut was measuring 6 weeks 1 day and had a beautiful heartbeat of 113! I was in tears. After 2 1/2 years ttc #3, two IVF's, seven transfers, four miscarriages, so many tears, begging and pleading with God, and finally surrendering to His perfect will, even if that didn't include any more children, he blessed us.

Each day is such a blessing, and I really beginning to believe this WILL BE OUR RAINBOW baby! My pregnancy symptoms are getting stronger.  Today I was very nauseated until I ate something and may appetite is really off... or Im starving.  My stomach bloat is out of control... and I only have one baby!  I haven't gained any weight yet, I fluctuate between 136 or 137.  This is shocking to me since I'm on STEROIDS of all things.

We go back at 8 weeks for ultrasound  # 2.  I honestly thought I would be having more, like I did with the twins, but I don't want them.  They are a source of major anxiety.  Although, I continue to do my best to cast all my anxieties over to the Lord.... I know this little one is in his hands!

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Still pregnant... 5 weeks 4 days!

It is a miracle really.  I can't believe I'm sitting here, sore boobs, growing swollen belly (all baby bloat!) that doesn't go down, hungry as ever with cravings... still pregnant.

This coming Monday is our first ultrasound.  I would be lying if I didn't say I wasn't terrified, because I am.  Although all my symptoms do give me comfort, the 'what if's' do pop in my head now and again.

I am still telling myself what I felt like God was saying to me... Trust me anyway!  I think that is going to be my motto for the entire pregnancy, God willing we make it!

Since my last BETA, I ran out of tests.  And I haven't picked up anymore.  I thought for sure I would still be testing, but I do rest in how i'm feeling.

Starting around four weeks and a day, my appetite began to increase a bit and I started craving more red meat.  Since I'm allergic to eggs (miracle in my health and why I think I'm still pregnant!), I've been eating meat for breakfast!  Sweet foods are just not filling me up!  No more protein shakes and greens, yuck!  Here is my breakfast today...
Meatballs, marinara and a side of pickled spicy vegetables!

Mothers day we drove up to Santa Barbara for a mini vacation.  C had to work, but the boys and I tagged along.  It was beautiful!  We had a great time.  


SB is like foodie heaven!  There are so many great organic/gluten free restaurants to choose from.  These pics are on the pier and we went to the little aquarium.  Its super cute... almost as cute as my boys!  (Maximus on left, Rocco on right)

The crazy thing about being on prednisone, is that it is supposed to mask morning sickness and fatigue.  I do get a little tired at times, but honestly I am doing pretty good!  I was also waiting to gain a ton of weight, and I've LOST weight (now maintaining).  Everywhere I read is that you get "moon face" from it.  So far so good in that dept.

I made a "FAITH PURCHASE" I couldn't help myself! We walked into the cutest toy/baby store down town. I thought "what the heck.." I am buying this in faith, believing this is going to be our take home rainbow baby. And, I just received my lab reports from my immunologist. Everything is looking GREAT, and he only wants me doing one day of IVIG this month! Praise God! (Before transfer I did 2 days back to back.) and that will save us 2k! 

I have hope! And BTW, my kids know. We talk about everything. They know about my losses. I am very open with them (on their level of course). But Maximus said today, "Mommy, God told me you are having a boy and this baby isn't going to die." I never told them the gender. Oohhhh Lord, I pray this is our Rainbow 🌈
Organic 

I went and did my one day of IVIG today... $2,200 later :(  But, anything for my growing bun!  Its working so of course
we have to!

I will leave you with a belly shot... its not pretty!  This is a heparin tummy...

I already have a pooch! Although not sure if you can tell here!

I took this one at five weeks exactly...



Please continue to pray for us.  I'm praying every time I think of it, Lord, please protect this little life <3 p="">

Friday, May 12, 2017

Blood is drawn!



Its been three days since my last beta.  Not sure why they do it every three days instead of two.  Its so much easier to calculate two, I think.  But, I'm so nervous!  Anxiously waiting the result.

I'm homeschooling Rocco and Maximus this year, but they have been going to a homeschool campus and taking classes.  Let me tell you, trying to teach twins is no easy feat.  However, this year has been such a blessing in growth and direction for all of us.  I really felt that God led us down the road to homeschooling.  However, next year, they are going to be at a local Christian school, I am SOOO excited about!  It is an amazing school, Christ centered.

I decided to finish up May just homeschooling at home, no more classes.  So to pass the time of the BETA results, we had a beautiful day at the nature center in Newport Beach.  Its 1:52 here, and I feel like I should be getting a call any minute!

Here are a few pics from our day...




And last but not least... MORE POAS... ;-)

Beta #1 @ 12 dpt = 291
Beta #2 @ 15 dpt = ???


BETA #2 is... 997!!!!!

I was shooting for 900, so I will take it!  Looks like our little bean is growing right on track!  The bad news is that my Progesterone was only 8.2, so I'm now going to be adding nightly PIO, but anything for this little miracle!  Praise Jesus!

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