Monday, May 31, 2010

I haven't...

felt like posting. I started my period last monday. I knew I wasn't pregnant on Saturday, so I quit taking the Progesterone then.

I thought I would be okay with everything...not being pregnant. C and I had discussed a child-free life, and I was actually excited about the possiblity. Well it hasn't felt that way those positive feelings have dissipated. I think I'm depressed... again.

I'm in a funk and I am not sure how to get out of it. I am tired, and sluggish all the time. I thought it was just hormones or PMS. Its not. I'm really not sure how to feel about everything. It just feels so finite. We are not going to do IVF (at least not right now). I'm not sure what to do with my life? How do we get back to just living again? Without TTC? I feel so lost...

I have an appointment with my counselor again on Wednesday. Hopefully she will give me new insight on what to do with my new "child-free" life. Maybe adoption is in our future?? I know God is closing some doors but He is bound to open new ones... I just have to wait and see!

1 comment:

Jenni said...

Hey Sara....I don't know if you remember me or not but I am "Jenni" from the Bicornuate Mommy Team website.

I am so sorry to hear that things have not worked out for you and your husband yet...but stranger things have happened...maybe it is just not the right time for you guys yet. I knew a women who was told there was nothing more medically they could do for her and miraculously her and her husband conceived five years later...she thought she just had a bad case of the stomach flu and low and behold she was just never know what life is going to send your way...anyway I will continue to pray that whatever path you are suppose to be on somehow is one of happiness.

As for me I have booked a hydrosteroscopy (sp?) for June 23. My OB/Gyn is planning on doing a resection if he goes in and I have a complete septum...I am super nervous about this. I know that you are probably in no shape or interested in chatting about your experience with your resection but I would love (if you feel comfortable) any advice that you could offer. I am scared have no one else to talk to who has been through this. Again if this is not the best time I totally understand.

Well prayers and thoughts are with you...please let me know if there is anything that I can do or if you need someone to listen.


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