Monday, November 23, 2015

Decisions Decisions...

I had my consultation with the new potential RE today.

I wish I could say I left there feeling great about moving forward.  I don't.  I have a bit of anxiety about it, to be quite honest.  Now, don't get me wrong, Dr. Anderson is great.  He is very kind, made me feel comfortable, and even said, "I won't abandon you!"  Because I totally felt abandoned by Dr. R this last year.  Not totally his fault, however he warned me that he was moving, but still.  Never did I think this past year would end up like this.

So here is were I am struggling... We have 27 eggs.  How many do we ICSI?  What if we have left over embryo's... that are NORMAL!?  How do you decide what to do with them?  C made it VERY clear last night that he only wants to transfer one time.  If we have two normals, he would want to put them both in and call it a day.  Here is the problem.  Dr. Anderson will only do SET (single embryo transfers).  He said he has seen too many horrible outcomes with twin pregnancy's.  He said we were super lucky.  My other problem now is C.  He also made it veery clear that if we have two normals and we transfer one, we are are DONE.  He won't want to transfer the last one! I'm so at a loss!  What if we ended up with three?  I mean we could also end up zero!  HELP ME!

I asked Dr. A, "Now Knowing we only really want one or two, how many would you ICSI?" He said "All of them." What!?  That scares me to death!  He explained that because my eggs were frozen, the quality of them will not be as good, and because I overstimmed it could also effect quality.   He also said that for my age, and with fresh eggs, 1 out of 5 are normal. Hmmmm... so maybe we should do 10?

I don't know guys.  I feel very confused!  I have been praying all day for wisdom and discernment on this. If you have any wisdom, please share!

He is also sending me for blood work this week and wants me to do an office hysteroscopy Wednesday!  I'm CD 18 and there is no O in sight.  As for blood work, he is looking for other blood clotting disorders that may have caused the m/c.  My other RE's didn't do that!  I do believe he knows what he is doing.

I really wish God would just tell me clearly what to do.  I know he is my guide and I need to listen to my gut.  I am working on being in a quiet space when I pray.  This is a challenge with two littles, but it is a must!






9 comments:

Rosachka said...

Initially when we thought we were going to have left over frozen embryos, we were planning to donate the ones that we would not use. Our RE was very excited when I mentioned my plans to him. However, we didn't have any left, but may be this is something that you can look into.

My (In)fertile Confessions said...

Thank you for your reply! Were you going to donate to science or to a family? Can I ask how many eggs you had to start with? :)

Kimberly @ Infertility Unfiltered said...

So glad to hear such positive things from your doctor!! I think you have the right intuition of just keeping quiet and letting the Lord speak to you. I don't know if I could make a decision right away if I was 110%. I like the idea of donating too. I'm praying with you on this! May you see a clear path soon.

Rosachka said...

We were thinking of donating to family(ies). I wouldn't feel comfortable donating to science the embryos that I treated like my children. If I remember correctly I had 25 follicles and 19 eggs retrieved. 15 were mature enough to be ICSIed and 10 fertilized. We ended up with 6 healthy embryos with 2 transferred fresh and 4 frozen. Unfortunately, the fresh cycle was unsuccessful, but we had our first son from 2 transferred during subsequent FET. Our last FET cycle of 2 last embryos was also unsuccessful. So we had nothing to give and nothing left for us.

Anonymous said...

You may want to look at NEDC (National Embryo Donation Center) should you have extra embryos. I have not used their services myself, but friends of mine have. I hope you get to add another miracle(s) to your family. Best of luck to you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sara, how have you been? Kire2177

jessica said...

Just checking in to see how you are doing! Any updates? Praying you had a peaceful and blessed holiday season.

My (In)fertile Confessions said...

Thank you so much for checking in Jessica!!! We did have a very blessed Christmas! I hope you did too! I just posted an update!!!

My (In)fertile Confessions said...

Hi Kire!! We are good and moving forward! How are you doing? I just posted a new update!!

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