Merry Christmas!!

I just created our Christmas card and thought I would share it with all of you!  I love how they turned out.  You are the first to see...

I can't wait til they arrive!  We spent yesterday getting all the Christmas stuff out too.  We went got our Christmas tree!  I love decorating it, I love the way it smells and adds so much to the room!  I turned on the Christmas music and got to decorating!  It looks beautiful!

Thanksgiving was awesome!  There was so much food it was actually ridiculous.  You know when your mom used to tell you not to eat too much or you'll get a belly ache?  Well, I literally got a belly ache!  I had to drink some mint tea, which did help a little bit. 

We stayed the night at my parents and it was a full house.  The grand kids also wanted to stay so we had a full house.  

The following night, we went on a double date with G and her husband and saw Peter Pan at the Orange County performing Art center.

It was one of the best shows I've seen, next to Mama Mia.  I love the story of Peter Pan because its so magical!  It was the same story as the Disney movie with flying, Tinkerbell, The lost boys, Mermaids, and of course, Captain Hook.  Very well done, with awesome graphics!  I highly recommend it!

On a separate note... I've been on Lupron for six days now. I am NOT feeling good. I've had a headache on and off for the last four days and I got some seriously SORE BOOBS! I never read about the sore boob thing, but FYI they hurt. I have also been extremely tired. I am a tired person anyways, so I'm not sure if its the Lupron or just me being tired from all the Thanksgiving festivities!? I went to bed last night at 9 and woke up at 830!

I took my LAST BCP yesterday (yay!), so I should start my period any day then my next appointment is Friday. I'll be doing bloodwork, ultrasound, and getting more meds!  I can't wait to get this show on the road!

It started...

today... my IVF cycle that is!  I am excited to say I got my first Lupron shot!  I went in this morning for what I thought was going to be just a basic ultrasound, but then was told I was doing my trial transfer.  I was a little surprised to say the least... didn't know what to expect!  I didn't see Dr R today, it was Dr. C.  It was my first time with her and she is amazing!  She is one of the sweetest Dr.'s I've met!  Anyways, we were talking the whole time and before I knew it, it was over.  If you have ever had an IUI done it feels the same way.  You uterus cramps just slightly as they insert the measuring device.  They do this also to make sure your cervix isn't difficult to find or maneuver.  Luckily, she had no problem finding mine.

After that was over, I went over and met with a nurse so she could show me how to do the Lupron shots.  She was going to do the first one for me, but I decided to do it myself.  I am pretty brave, now that I've done three cycles of Follistim.  Giving myself a shot is a piece of cake!  Although if I have to do those progesterone shots I WILL BE SCARED!  Those needles are thick and I've read that they hurt! 

My next appointment is December 3.  I go in for a ultrasound and to get the rest of my meds.  I believe I'm just doing Follistim to start, but I can be mistaken.  I am praying that's all.  I feel comfortable with that one, the needles are so small and don't hurt a bit.  Its just getting past the whole fear of actually sticking yourself.  Once you do it your good to go!

After the doctors, I literally baked all day!  It was so much fun!  I turned on the Christmas music, put on an apron, and became domesticated.  I made the pumpkin cinnamon rolls (literally just took them out of the oven!) and they look AMAZING, pumpkin cupcakes with cream cheese frosting (for the kids)(I was in the baking mood and added that one to the list), and the cranberry sauce.  Tomorrow all I need to do now is make the brussel sprouts and artichoke dip, which I forgot to add to the recipes yesterday!  Its amazing  here it is...

1 c. mayo
1 c. Parmesan
2 14 oz cans artichoke hearts, chopped
2 cloves garlic minced
2 4 oz cans Chile's
1 4oz can jalapenos

mix together and bake at 350 until its golden on top, about 20 - 25 min.  Enjoy with tortilla or pita chips!

Its always a hit!  Enjoy and Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving Recipes...

So I thought I would post a few recipes I am planning on making for Thanksgiving this year.  As you know, I have been cleaning up my diet, removing flours, sugars, and processed unnatural foods.  However, I usually have a cheat meal twice a week, where I get to enjoy myself a bit.  So, for Thanksgiving, I am going to have a cheat DAY.  I don't remember the last time I had a Cinnamon roll (besides my mom's Christmas sticky buns once a year), so I am making pumpkin Cinnamon rolls for breakfast to start...



               Pumpkin Cinnamon Rolls with Cream Cheese Icing

                                 makes approximately 15-16 rolls

Ingredients:

Roll Dough:

1/4 cup warm water (not hot, about 110 degrees)

1 package (2 1/4 teaspoons) active dry yeast

1/3 cup warm milk

1 large egg, beaten

3/4 cup pumpkin puree, either fresh or canned

1 tablespoon melted butter

2 cups (approximately) All-Purpose Flour

1 1 /4 cup Whole Wheat Flour

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon ground ginger

1/4 teaspoon ground cardamom

Filling:

1 stick butter

2/3 cup white sugar

1/4 cup brown sugar

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon each of allspice and ginger

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

1/8 teaspoon cloves

Cream Cheese Frosting:

4 ounces cream cheese

1 stick (4 ounces) butter, softened

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

3/4 teaspoon lemon juice

2-3 cups powdered sugar

Directions:

In a large bowl, stir yeast into water to soften. Let rest for 5 minutes before stirring. Add milk, eggs, pumpkin, butter, 1 1/4 cups whole wheat flour, brown sugar, salt, cinnamon, ginger and cardamom to yeast mixture. Beat vigorously for 2 minutes.

Gradually add remaining flour (all purpose), a little at a time, until you have a dough stiff enough to knead. Start with about 1 1/2 cups and increase if necessary. Turn dough out onto a floured surface. Knead, adding flour as necessary, until you have a smooth, elastic dough.

Put dough into an oiled bowl. Turn once to coat entire ball of dough with oil. Cover with a towel and let rise until doubled, about 1 hour.

Combine the white sugar, brown sugar, cinnamon, allspice, ginger, nutmeg and cloves in a small bowl, set aside. Transfer the risen dough to a lightly greased work surface, and pat or roll it into a 16" x 12" rectangle. Spread softened butter over dough and then sprinkle with the sugar mixture.

Roll the dough into a log the long way; it'll stretch to about 20" long as you roll. Using a very sharp knife, slice the log into 15 slices. In order to cut down on drag, it helps to rinse the blade in hot water, and wipe it off, between slices. Place slices in a greased 9x13 inch baking pan (or in two 8 or 9 inch round cake or pie pans). Cover with a towel and let rise until almost doubled, about 45 minutes.

Bake in a preheated 375°F oven. Bake the rolls till they're brown around the edges and beginning to turn golden brown across the center, about 20-30 minutes.

While rolls bake, prepare the cream cheese frosting. Add the cream cheese, butter, vanilla, and lemon juice to a small food processor. Blend until smooth and combined. Add the powdered sugar 1/2 cup at a time, blending in between, until well mixed and desired consistency is reached. (I used 2 cups powdered sugar)

Frost warm rolls with the cream cheese frosting and serve immediately.

For night before prep: Prepare the rolls up to the point where you roll and place in the pan. Then, cover in plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight. In the morning, remove the pan from the fridge and proceed with the instructions where you left off. Rising time may be slightly longer than noted in the recipe due to the dough being cold vs room temp.

Roasted Brussel Sprouts with Toasted Pine Nuts

Ingredients

3 C Brussel sprouts

2 Tbsp Balsamic vinegar

2 Tbsp, plus 1 tsp olive oil

salt and pepper, to taste

1/4 C pine nuts

Preparation
Wash and remove outer leaves.  Cut sprouts in half.


Instructions
Prepare sprouts as directed and place in medium bowl. Toss the sprouts with vinegar, 2 Tbsp olive oil and salt and pepper. Place on baking sheet and put in preheated 375 degree oven. After 10-15 minutes turn over the sprouts and bake the remaining 10-15 minutes. In small pan toast the pine nuts. Sprinkle nuts on top of the sprouts and serve.

The last thing I make is something I make every year.  Cranberry relish...

Fresh Cranberry relish

Ingredients

1 bag of fresh cranberries

1 whole orange (seeded)

3/4 c. sugar

Directions

In a blender or food processor, blend cranberries and orange.  Add to a bowl and stir in sugar.

We are going to my parents to enjoy the holiday so there is going to be a ton of food there.  We usually make it like a potluck... everyone brings a dish or two.  There is going to be about 20 people and I cannot wait.  C is really excited that I'm making the cinnamon rolls for just us two.  Since we have both been eating healthier, I rarely make things like that because I have too many leftovers.  Its a lot for just the two of us. 

We are also really excited because we "adopted" a family for Thanksgiving as well.  Our city has a program call "Project Self-sufficiency."  It is such an awesome program that helps single mothers get on their feet.  The family we have this year is a mom  of four kids, 16, 15, 13, 8.  We ordered a complete Thanksgiving meal from Marie Calendars for them to enjoy.  We are also bringing a game they can play together as a family.  I asked what game they wanted and they wanted Monopoly.  I was a little surprised because I just figured that would be one everyone had.  It is a humbling reminder of how many people struggle and don't have the "simple things" that we assume most people would have, especially those with kids.  She was very grateful that we offered to do that for them as well.  We are going to drop it off tomorrow night, which I'm looking forward too.

I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and to remind you to remember those who are less fortunate than us.  Sometimes I think it is easy to become self-focused when dealing with IF.  Because we are struggling we forget that others are struggling to a greater degree.  It is so important to still help those less fortunate. 

ENJOY YOU TIME WITH YOUR FAMILIES AND TRY TO PUT IF ON THE BACK BURNER FOR A DAY (given your cycles permit)!



With a Fork in the Road...

Lots of prayer...and another talk with Dr. R and we have THE plan.  C and I just cannot imagine going through ANOTHER surgery again.  The whole process is long and, of course, painful.  IVF would have been pushed back most likely until February.  No, its not that far away but, then again, it is in IF world.  We remembered what Dr. R stated from our very first appointment with him, "I never would have taken the septum out."  I know this is very controversial between doctors.  Dr. D obviously would have felt it was necessary and wanted a THIRD surgery.  Dr. R feels (and research shows) that septum's DO NOT cause infertility, they only can potentially cause miscarriages. And yes, that is entirely scary for me too!  That is why this decision was so extremely difficult.  However, I have never been pregnant, therefore, I am not sure it will be a problem.  I guess this will be another thing to put into God's hands.  If IVF does work and I do get pregnant, I will be more scared and cautious but, then again, I feel like I would be anyways, given our history.  So, I am cautiously optimistic.

I am excited that we are going forward with IVF.  I am praying I make a lot of good quality eggs and together, grade A embryo's.  Again, its in God's hands.  If, God forbid, we do miscarry and its the cause if the septum, we will remove it asap and then do a FET (frozen embryo transfer), given that we have some.

Here is our updated IVF schedule:

November 24- Start Lupron
November 25- HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!
December 4- Start Stims (yay Follistim!)
Week of December 13- Egg retrieval (ER)!
December 18-19?- Embryo Transfer (ET)!!
December 31- BETA and hopefully a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!

obviously, these are estimations as far as the ER, ET and BETA, but that is my holiday schedule!  I have a good feeling its going to just fly. 

We are already booked as far as Christmas parties are concerned.  December 2 is C's office party which I put together.  We are taking a yacht in the Newport Beach harbor and having dinner.  The boat will be decked out with holiday decor' and there should be a lot of houses and boats decorated too!  I'm super excited about it!  Should be really fun. December 4 is a friends birthday party, December 12 is C's family Christmas party and my friends baby shower, December 18 is my family annual Fondue party (which I am most likely going to have "call in sick" to), December 19 is C's manager party (which I am most likely going to have "call in sick" to), then its Christmas eve and Christmas. 

I love love the holidays and all that they represent.  I love coming together with family and friends. It is definitely my favorite time of the year.

I am pretty...

devastated.  I just came home from my office hysteroscopy.  Thank God C came with me or I would have seriously been a wreck.  Usually I go into these and they are a piece of cake.  Usually take about five minutes.  This one took a lot longer.  It is very uncomfortable sitting there spread eagle and having a doctor dilate your cervix (ouch!).    C was a trooper and his hand is probably a bit sore from me squeezing it so hard.  Dr. R is very thorough so thank goodness for that!  When he first went in he thought every thing looked great, as did we.  Then he moved the camera over to the other "horn" and there is was... that dang septum is back for the THIRD time!  Two canals again. 

After he was done I just laid there, fighting back the tears.  What else could I do?  Dr. R stated our options and it is up to us what to do.  We can either have it removed for the third time, or go ahead with IVF and only implant one embryo.  How do we decide that?  He wouldn't give us an opinion either way.  I just broke down in tears at this point.  I don't know what to do???

C doesn't feel like he can go through another surgery.  Neither do I.  I have never even been pregnant so we aren't sure it would even cause that big of a problem.  LUCKILY, we remembered what Dr. R said from our first meeting, "I never would have removed the septum in the first place unless it caused a problem (aka miscarriage)."  Do we wait to see if we can get pregnant and potentially miscarry? Or do we do a cycle hope to get some really good embies, if we miscarry, have the surgery and then do a FET (God willing)?  UGH!!!!  I am pretty much devastated that we have to make this decision, AGAIN.

Feedback wanted please!  Thanks!

I haven't had much...

to write about.  Its been pretty boring over here. Sorry for being MIA. I feel like I have writers block. Does that ever happen to you bloggers?

 I'm still on the waiting game, still taking my BCP's.  A week from TODAY I have my scheduled Hysteroscopy coming up and I believe the trial transfer (measuring of my uterus).  So that day isn't going to be much fun!  But, I spoke with Dr. R. recently and he wanted to move things up a bit, so I think I may start lupron on that day as well (or a couple days later). YAY!  I'm excited!  I will post my new schedule soon!

Other than that the last couple weeks I've been really trying to clean up my diet in preparation for IVF.  Not that it was that bad, but I am focusing more on eating vegetables at each meal and fruit!  I love fruit!  I am not eating any thing with sugar in it, I haven't had any coffee in a few days now, but I do drink 1 cup of green tea instead.  I know I know... it still has 20mg of caffine, but it is way better then coffee and has tons of antioxidents in it! Anyone else drinking green tea during IVF?  I'm not going to obsess too much about all the minor details.  I've done that before and look where it got us...  Now I know ultimately God is in control and any obsessing only hurts myself.

I am still working out at crossfit.  Today our workout consisted of a mile run then 50 pull ups, 100 push ups, 150 squats, and then another mile run.  It really kicked my butt! I know I can't continue working out like that once we start the stims... my poor lil ovaries wouldn't like it one bit!  But I love the workouts and bummed I have to stop (although I know its worth it!).   I am getting into the best shape of my life working out here.  Its pretty amazing.  I'm doing things I never imagined I would ever do, such as Olympic lifting!  And no, I am not getting bulky only more lean.  For anyone who wants to get into the best shape ever train at Crossfit.  They are all over the world!  http://www.crossfit.com/

When I go in for my trial transfer, I plan on finding out all my can's and can'ts for IVF.  I read an article recently that stated we shouldn't excerice excessivly during IVF because our bodies will try to prevent the pregnancy because of the stress.  I get it.  I do plan on at least walking and doing yoga.  What I think is rediculous is that it also states, "women who regularly exercised for more than four hours per week - and who had done so for one to nine years previously - were 40 per cent less likely to have successful IVF treatment than women who didn't exercise."  I think that is bogas!  I want to be as healthy as possible for WHEN I get pregnant.

What really doesn't make sense... my mom, who is an OB nurse,  had a 405 lb patient giving birth the other day to her second child.  They had to do a C-section and had to be put on oxygen AFTER it was over!  Now, how can someone who is clearly unhealthy get pregnant and us "healthy" individuals, not! Life is mixed up!  How is she going to care for that baby when she isn't even caring for herself?

It doesn't make sense.  But then again life most certainly doesn't.