It fits!

I was seriously getting worried there! The last trimester of my pregnancy I had very swollen hands and fingers. It felt like arthritis in my hands. To open a jar, I needed help because my hands ached. After delivery, I was sure it would go away, but I was left with numb finger tips that tingled and I still had the aching in my hands when opening things. My hands were still swollen and my wedding ring wouldn't fit. Today, I noticed the pain and tingling was gone, so I tried my wedding ring on and IT FITS!! I'm so happy!!!

Now, only if I could fit into my jeans...

Fussy Baby?

Put him in a wrap and this is what you get...

a peacful sleeping baby! I love my sleepy wrap :-)

Birth control?

At my six week check up, Dr. I discussed birth control options with me.  But do I need it?  I hear it again and again that after infertility, many people get "surprises."  I guess, I am not sure what to do because our issue ended up being a little different than most peoples.  C's sperm didn't like my eggs!  I mean what are the chances we would have a surprise pregnancy if out of 29 eggs, NOT ONE, fertilized!?

I did get a prescription for a progesterone pill that's safe to take while breastfeeding.  Part of me doesn't want to take it because if we did get a surprise, that wouldn't be anything less than a miracle.  But at the same time, I REALLY don't want to get pregnant again for a LONG time!  I just want to enjoy my new little twins!  So I ask the question... what would you do???


Another pic just for fun :-)

lovin the new sns...

Breastfeeding is going amazing now! I love the new system! Prior, I would sometimes give them up to 2 oz of either formula or expressed BM. Now, they are barely taking 2 oz TOTAL.. not 2 each like before! I fed rocco this morning and he didnt take any, and he even spit up... all from me! Im pretty sure this thing is working and they are getting mre efficient at eating and know they arent getting a bottle after! My supply is going up!

My LC has me taking 3 pills of blessed thistled and fenugreek 3 times a day drinking 1 dark beer everday (darn!).

Out and about...

I'm finally feeling comfortable leaving the house with my babies.  They are now adjusted age 2 weeks and 7 weeks old really!  Rocco is now weighing in at a whopping 8lbs 9oz and Maximus is 7lbs 13oz!!  They are growing boys!  This past week they went out to dinner with us, them being covered up in their car seats (paranoid mom alert!), and to the grocery store!  I pushed the babies in a cart and C pushed the cart for the groceries.  It was the site to see!  I figure once I'm comfortable to go alone, I can put one in my sleepy wrap and push on the cart in his car seat.

I've also been walking daily (almost) and started doing some Pilate's at home. Man do I feel weak!  I'm about 10 lbs away from my prepregnancy weight and 13 away from pre IVF.  Not too bad.  I kinda platued a little for a few weeks, I think because I wasn't eating enough.  I just started eating a lot more and I've lost a couple more lbs!  I'm hoping that trend continues!  I just ordered a workout dvd from netflix and I'm going to start running again soon (probable more like a walk jog to start).  I'm very motivated to get back into shape, especially since we'll be heading back to Kauai in February!!!!  It will be our first family vacation!!  Super excited!

As for the breastfeeding, its going better.  The pumping is definitely helping and I am noticing my left producing more.  I had a LC come over today and she is starting me on the SNS system.  Because the babies had to be supplemented in the beginning, it TOTALLY screwed up my milk supply!  I am frustrated with my pediatrician for recommending them to be supplement with formula.  Knowing what I know now, she should have rec. me to nurse more often and pump after, then I wouldn't be having these issues.  I think this happens to a lot of new moms who don't know any better.  In the end they end up formula feeding because their milk supply isn't good enough.  That is not going to happen to me!

So, the SNS is a supplementing system, but I'm pumping and going to supplement the best I can with my OWN breastmilk.  The tube is attached to my nipple which will stimulate me to produce more!  Its a win win!  This is my last and final effort to EBF.  I have researched and researched.  Knowing what I know now, I truely regret listening to my pediatrician in the beginning and I wish she had me just breastfeed more often to make sure Rocco gained more weight.  I wish she had me pump and not tell me to give my baby a man made substance!  I listened to her thinking she knew best.  I was under so much pressure with one baby in NICU and one at home not gaining enough weight I listened.  Now I'm struggling to provide for my babies.

(*Written today)
The good news... I gave NO BOTTLES last night or today!!!  My babies drank only from my breast and were supplemented with my breast milk!  Its such a crazy feeling to see my babies come off my breasts and be SATISFIED!!  Its like I'm waiting for them to still act hungry!  Loving my new SNS!!!

Pumping pumping pumping...

is what my life consists of now!  Of course that includes breastfeeding, diaper changes, and naps in between!  I'm currently pumping as I type this!  I was given this amazing hands free pump, the Medela Freestyle, and it has given me the motivation to pump again! 

Once I decided to strictly breastfeed both babies, I stopped pumping at that time, mostly because I was burned out!  I originally breastfed Rocco and then pumped for Maximus so I could add the extra calories to it.  Once Maximus was up to a good weight I stopped adding the extra and was just so exhausted from it all I needed a break.  The problem... I'm not producing enough milk for two babies!!!  I am desperately trying EVERYTHING to increase my milk supply!

I had an appointment with a Lactation Consultant on Wednesday.  I breastfed both babies while I was there.  They weighed them before and after to see how much they ate.  Maximus ate 2.4oz on the right side and Rocco ate only 1 oz on the left!  I have a retarded left breast!

On top of that, they think I have thrush on my nipples, which is why I'm still in pain when I breastfeed after 6 weeks (yes my babies are 6 weeks old now!).  Its very common with breastfeeding.  It can either appear on the mother, the baby, or both!  Luckily I just have it now.  So I am putting a cream on after each feeding/pumping.

My job now to increase my supply is to breastfeed, then pump after each feeding, 10 min on the right and 15 on my retarded left  This SUPPOSEDLY will tell my body to produce more!  I am still waiting for that to kick in!  I have also started taking Fenugreek, an herbal supplement that is supposed to also increase my supply.

To say the least, it is VERY frustrating!  I am very frustrated!  If it is supply and demand and my babies are demanding and my body is not supplying, I disagree with that theory.

If anyone has any other tips for increasing supply, PLEASE SHARE!!!

Due Date...

my boys will be 5 weeks tomorrow and today is their due date! this means they are no longer preemies and are now newborns! Their weight reflects that. Rocco is 7lbs 2oz and Maximus is 6lbs 6oz!  Im so happy to make it to this day :)

One Month Old...

Its hard to believe that a whole month has gone by.  Rocco and Maximus are 1 month old (yesterday).  They are growing like crazy and and we are learning more and more about each other everyday.

I've learned their cry's, I know what they need when they need it, and mostly its food!  I know when they need to eat or when they just need to cuddle and boy do they love to cuddle... especially in the middle of the night :-)  They love to smile and make faces at me when they are content with full bellies, I love to watch them (I know they don't know they are smiling just yet!).  Maximus is especially expressive with his face and his smile literally melts my heart.  I can't wait for "real" smiles!

The past two weeks we have moved in with my parents.  Our house is under construction for the mold issue we had months ago.  We had been fighting with our HOA for the past six months and we finally won!  They didn't want to pay and they lost!  It is horrible timing, but at least it is getting fixed.  As much as I was dreading the move and the work on our house, I have appreciated the extra hands with the babies!  My parents are great and we have actually been able to have a date night!  It was a really fast dinner at a nice Italian restaurant.  A much needed night out after 5 weeks of bedrest and four weeks of babies ;-)

C is such an amazing father.  He is loving his boys so much and has blown my expectations of him as a father away! Having him commute to work has been taxing the last couple weeks and we can't wait to get home!  He doesn't get home from work until about 8pm so he is really missed by the three of us during the week.

Last, but not least...

Rocco and Maximus

Rocco Gianni

                       Maximus Matteo