Wednesday, May 11, 2016

I'm alive!

heartbroken. But I'm alive.

Seriously. I don't think we would have ever tried for another knowing we would be put through such hell. I think I need a break from all things IF. Last summer sucked. We had two transfers and two BFN's. This summer we are going to travel. We are booking a trip Europe, with our boys in August, plus a few other mini trips before.

I know we have four normal blasts. But honestly I'm so scared to even transfer them in fear my body will just destroy them. I think a change of RE's is much over due. I am thinking about going back to dr Anderson. He has an 85% success rate. The down side is he will only transfer one embryo. It scares me. There are pro's and cons of one vs two, but According to him, I am very lucky I had a successful twin pregnancy. I guess he has seen a lot of sad outcomes.

There is another dr right next door, Dr Potter, who also has a lot of success. I am going to interview him and see. He will transfer two.

Honestly after going through so much heartbreak, we just want a healthy baby. Lots to consider. I feel drained. I can't even pray about it any more. I'm just done.

Yesterday I got hit with a triple whammy... Diarrhea, vomiting, fever... And I started AF :( the good fortune continues. I think it was food poisoning. Not eating Mexican food for a long time!

4 comments:

Lauree and Mike said...

Oh hun. I'm so sorry this cycle was a bust. I just KNOW your THB is in those four though! I only had 2 PGS normal embryos and look where I am now! A new baby/babies WILL be in your arms again very very soon. I just know it. <3 <3 <3 <3

.. said...

I was diagnosed with poor ovarian reserve and very bad prognosis of having a baby with my own eggs. I was even given the option to consider donor eggs. That was around july 2014. I was absolutely devastated with the news and I arranged an IVF for November 2014 and it failed also, given that I had nothing to lose, I contacted Dr.Agbazara i meet online and he send me his herbal product,. Believe it or not... I am already pregnant within few after his help. contact him today with any kind of problem and be happy like me on ( agbazara@gmail.com )

Unknown said...

Thanks Lauree! I hope you are right! I just had my wtf spot. Will post soon! We are taking the summer off and traveling, and seeing some new RE's:

Lauree and Mike said...

Traveling will definitely help keep your mind far from all this madness! I have high high hopes for those 4 perfect little embies waiting for you! :)

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