I was terribly mistaken...

about the number of follicles (eggs) I have.  I have over 20 ranging from 13-15mm in diameter now.  What happens is the doctors stop counting after they get a good idea of what their working with and say "PCO".  I saw Dr. R today, he was pretty impressed and said I'm doing "quite well," and "surgery is definitely on for Thursday!"  I'm going to trigger tomorrow night sometime, which I will find out more at tomorrows appointment.

From what I've read about PCOS, it may affect egg quality.  So, even though we have lots of follicles, they may not all be mature or the best quality.  If we have 20 eggs retrieved I will be ecstatic if half of them make embryo's.

The nurse wants me on a low-carb diet now so my body doesn't retain lots of water after ER.  I responded, "at Christmas time?"  Its so hard right now.  I'm loving not being on a diet.  She also wants me to "take it easy and rest."  No problem, I'm exhausted from all the holiday festivities!!

Because of our faith, choosing to move forward with IVF was really difficult.  I was concerned about having extra embryo's.  What would we do with them?  Although the bible doesn't discuss IVF, it is our belief that at conception a life is formed.  For some people they are cells, and to C and I they will be our babies.  If some don't make it, I will know I will have babies waiting for me in heaven.  I just keep praying that God gives us what we can handle.  C and I had decided that we would use all the embryo's we get.  I am having faith that God will bless us with the right amount.  Not to many, and hopefully, not too little.  Its a little scary having PCOS, because of all the follicles we produce!

Not sure if I mentioned this before... because I still have the residual septum, Dr. R only wants to implant a SINGLE embryo.  I am a little bummed because I have always dreamed of having twins, but because I have this funky uterus it is safer for me and my potential baby.

I have been contemplating the what ifs...

If this cycle doesn't work... I MAY take out the septum (then Dr. R would implant two embies)
If I have a chemical pregnancy... I WILL take out the septum
If I have a miscarriage... I WILL take out the septum
If this cycle works... I WILL THANK GOD FOR THE MIRACLE AND PRAY DAILY FOR THE SAFETY OF THIS BABY

Crazy busy weekend...

I just got home from a baby shower and C's family xmas party.  I also had a dr appt this morning and will continue to have one daily til ER.

Yesterdays appointment went well and I am happy to report that some of the follicles are taking off and leaving some behind!  I'm not sure how many there are but I don't think we'll have 20 for the ER (yay!).  Currently, they range from 10-16mm and estrogen is at 1500.  Dr. C (the other RE in the practice) says that she wants them at 18mm in diameter, which means, that if your have a 20 x 16mm its diameter would be 18mm and that would most likely make them mature.

I am a little bummed because I thought we would be triggering (taking the HCG shot) monday night and ER would be Wednesday and its looking like I'm going to trigger Tuesday and ER is going to be Thursday.  But, whatever is best for my lil eggies, is okay with me :)

I am still taking 225 iu of Gonal F and 75 iu Menapur and 5 iu Lupron .  Tomorrow they want me to take the Lupron before I come in for my appointment and take the Menapur with me to the appointment.  Not sure why?  Hopefully I do not have to take it tomorrow... it seriously burns!!

My tummy is so sore and tender from all the shots.  I seriously have lil pin holes all over it!  Also, I am feeling more and more pressure down there and its getting really uncomfortable during the pelvic u/s.

Will update more tomorrow!!

**I am also required to take baby asprin to help with blood flow, contiue my metformin for pcos, and of course, a prenatal vitamin.  I'm taking citra natal.  I like it because it comes with an omega 3 pill too :)

Its getting crowded...

in my ovaries!  Since yesterday, I have been progressively getting more uncomfortable.  I feel pressure in my pelvic area and I'm worried because ER isn't going to be til NEXT WEEK!  I know its only going to get worse.  I'm also VERY worried about OHSS, especially since I was so uncomfortable after my last IUI's and I O'd only SIX eggs (which was very dangerous for IUI!). 

My blood work Tuesday showed an increase in estrogen and then I had a follow up appt yesterday.  All of my lil follicles measured 10-11mm which was good, but when I asked how many... he responded 20 + (yikes)!!  He is HOPING that we get about 12 good eggs  instead of 20 okay ones.  BUT, I have so many already growing!  I thought that they would also lower my dose, but nope, I'm still taking 225 iu's of Gonal F.  My estrogen level is just slowing plugging along.  It was at 350 yesterday.

On a good note, I spent the week at my parents since C was in Dallas.  I had such a good time.  My mom and I made ginger bread cookies and decorated them.  They are yummy!  I also got ALL of my xmas shopping done.  Since the next couple weeks are going to be filled with IVF appointments and I am not sure how I'm going to be feeling after ER, I had to get it done.

(Its my Oliver cookie!)

When I picked C up from the airport, there was almost no space in the back of my car (with the seats down) for his suitcase!  Its full of presents! 

I'm not sure about the side effects of all this medication, but I have been having really bad headaches on and off this week, also I've been seriously tired, and I ate so many carbs at my parents (its carb heaven over there!).  But, its either the meds OR I'm STILL detoxing from caffeine but I haven't drank any coffee in weeks only ice OCCASIONALLY, I'm tired from all the xmas shopping (?), and I may have ate so many carbs because its comfort food and I ate emotionally since I was "home."  Not sure?  I do feel bloated, but I think that is from all the food.  When I got home today, I slept for 3 hours.  It was nice. 

Oh... my mom never found out about the meds, but I do suspect she thinks we are doing some kind of IF treatment since I had to leave for a Dr appt.  And on Wed. I had to drive ALL the way home because I forgot "something" at home that was mucho importante (my Lupron, but I couldn't tell her!)!  That wasn't fun, its an hour drive each way.

I have another appt in the morning!  Will post my stats tomorrow :)

37...

was my estrogen yesterday... a measly 37 (Boo!).  Dr. R was a little concerned so they had me come back today to make sure SOMETHING was going on in there.  I had some measurable ones on each ovary, THANK GOD, but they were still really little.  They ranged from 5mm to 7mm.  I had to give more blood today as well, which hurt because she did the same arm as yesterday!.  I have been taking 75iu of menopur, 150iu Gonal F and 5iu Lupron.  Everything stays the same except he upped my Gonal F to 225.  I'm praying they start to grow.  The good news is that there aren't too many and they are NOT growing too fast!  I'm happy about that.

So... I took some of your advice from yesterday, and did my shots in the belly.  It was MUCH better.  I iced before the Lupron shot and it went right in (maybe my skin isn't as tough on my belly?).  I did the Menopur nice and S-L-O-W and that went well too.  It didn't take me 20 minutes this time either.  Progress is being made!  Thank you!

C is flying out today to Dallas for work.  I am going to my parents for the next few days.  I am really excited, I love going home.  But, we are keeping IVF a secret so its going to be interesting hiding these shots from my mother!  On thanksgiving, I hid  the Lupron way back in a Tupperware container in the veggie drawer.  She didn't see it, but I think she was distracted with all the company over.  We'll see if I can get away with it!  I'm not good at hiding stuff from my mom :)

My next appt is Thursday... Praying 225iu does the trick!

I've regressed...

completely and utterly regressed.  I am now afraid to give myself the shots.  It is ridiculous!  I have been standing here in my kitchen for the last 20 min. icing my leg, trying to shoot, then icing the other leg, then trying to shoot, then my belly, etc.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?  I'll tell you what is wrong.  Those dang Lupron needles feel dull and Menopur HURTS!  I did the Lupron this morning and I swear I stabbed myself then had to stab FURTHER to shove the needle in!  This is nuts!  Now I cannot build up the courage to do the Menopur!  After yesterdays experience... burning while injecting and then feeling the ball of what feels like a gel under the skin and not to mention the sore spots on the leg that you can feel the NEXT DAY!
I cannot go through this everyday.  Its making me crazy!  Does anyone know the best place to shoot Menapur?  I wish I had someone to give me these dang shots!

Here we grow...

I just got home from Dr. R's.  I think I should just move right in since I'm going to be spending so much time there the next two weeks!  I went yesterday for my baseline U/S (ultrasound) and B/W (blood work).  Blood came back "nice and low" according to Tressa, my nurse.  My lining was also thin and my ovaries still showed tons of follicles (THANK YOU PCOS!).    Dr. R gave the okay to start the stims today!  I had them sent to the office so Tressa could show me how mix and shoot all the different meds.  Its pretty overwhelming.  I made C come so he can be my second pair of eyes and remember things that I may not... although we all know he will NOT be helping me with the injections! LOL.

I did 10iu's of Lupron this morning and then did my first shot of Menopur.  Unfortunately I'm doing Menopur and Gonal F.  I was looking forward to the Follistim because it comes premixed with a nice little pen to do the shots, kind of like an epipen.  Menopur and Gonal F you have to mix and powder and a fluid to get the drug ready to be injected.  Its a pain.  Oh well.  Hopefully 10 more days of this!  Tressa thinks that the ER (Egg Retrieval) is going to be on Wednesday, the 15th "if I'm an average patient."  We'll see though.  My ovaries are really good at making eggs (again, thank you pcos), when I am taking meds.  Lets just hope they are good quality.  I can't wait to find out!

One of my fears is that my eggs shell is going to be too hard for C's sperm to penetrate.  Dr. D mentioned that he thought that may be an issue and recommended ICSI.  And Dr. R never mentioned that and thinks they'll be fine.  What would happen if none of them fertilized?  I don't even want to think about it!  I need to keep the Faith that God lead us hear, and not let FEAR creap in!

My next appointment is Monday.  I go in for just for b/w and then Wednesday I go in for b/w and u/s.  Praying these little follies start to G-R-O-W!

Ouch!

I am pretty much a pro at giving myself injections in the gut.  But the other day it hurt!  It almost felt like the needle was a little dull.  Ever since then I am having the hardest time giving myself the shot.  Yesterday I had to close my eyes and this morning, for example, I was sitting there counting down to myself "3..2..1..." and then nothing.  I couldn't do it.  I was in my robe (because it is FREEZING in our house... our heater is broken!), I litterally started sweating and had to take the robe off.  Rediculous!  Finally I had the bright idea to ice my belly then shoot it.  I am not sure if it felt any better, but at least I got it in. 

As for C, he can not help me at all.  He is the biggest baby when it comes to needles. Yesterday, I came downstairs and he was on the computer and asked him to give me the shot.  He freaked out and made me leave the room so he wouldn't pass out!  I think there is reason God made women to carry babies!