Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Mama Bear...

I am.  A Mama bear.  I admit to it.  Some people may think I'm "crazy mom," but you know what?  I don't care.  I absolutely LOVE my kids and would do anything to protect them.  I am a jealous mom too!  And do you know what?  I don't care either!  I am their mom.  No one else.  I will always be THEIR MOM.

Where is this coming from?  UGH.  What a day... It has actually been building from a few weeks or few incidences or comments which have built up and built up, where I have finally had to speak up.  I didn't want to seem "crazy" or like a "mama bear" or "jealous." But you know what?  I am.  I can admit it.  It IS who I am.

I hired a house keeper/mothers helper, "A,"  a couple months ago.  We definitely need help to care for this much larger house.  From the beginning, since I gave birth to my boys, I have NEVER wanted help with my babies.  However, if I am caring for my twins, I DO need help with laundry and cleaning.  Maybe someone to make a bottle every once in a while or to watch them if I need to run an errand or go to the gym... WHICH I ONLY DO WHILE THEY ARE NAPPING!  I like to be the one to put them down and be the one who they see when they wake up.  I do understand that sometimes that doesn't happen and they will wake up before I get home.  That's fine.

What has been bothering me...

1) When A, says, "how are MY babies doing?"

2) When A, suggests I make food a different way than what I am doing for my boys.
3) When A, says to Rocco, "A makes the BEST bottle EVER!" I overheard this one when I was upstairs changing Maximus's diaper.  I then told Maximus, "No, Mommy makes the best bottle ever!"
4) When A tries to step in and take one of my babies to change their diaper.
5) When Asteps in at any time I do not ask for help. UGH!

There are more, but this has been the past week.  Now, don't get me wrong, she is an amazing house keeper.

So, I had to get it off my chest.  I know she felt bad and I am sure meant no harm, but I cannot help how I feel.

Being a mother is MY job.  Being a helper is HER job.  It has been a slow process and she has slowly been trying to mother MY boys.  There is only room for ONE mother in this house.  That is ME.

Boundaries were crossed.  I did set this expectation in the beginning.  I feel bad that she is hurt, but I do not feel bad for being a Mama Bear.

P.S.  C and I had a fabulous Anniversary!  Thank you for all the wishes!  We stayed at the Ritz in Laguna and it was perfect!



Our Journey Through This Lovely Life said...

Good for you for being the Mama Bear! I would have done the same thing!

Neamorfnost said...

Oh i dont see anything wrong in the way you feel. I would have done the same!

KC said...

Yep, I totally agree. I am sure she thought she was being helpful but she thought wrong.

Laura said...

My comment from earlier didn't show... I said something like, maybe it's time for a new helper?? Unless she's the kind of person you can say "hey, please tone it down" to without any problems... but I would feel the same way and feel very hurt if my "territory" was being stepped on! Intentionally or not. You just don't say stuff like that! :P

Glad you had a good anniversary, too! :]

Also... yes, I am pregnant! Haha, we announced a while ago... you should search for my announcement post 'cause I made a (in my biased opinion) a super cute video ;) 19 weeks now, due in the middle of January :] YAY!

Stephanie said...

That is a tough spot to be in, wanting help but not 'too' much help - I totally get it. Glad you spoke up and set the boundaries once again.

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