Maybe Baby? BETA LIMBO... and BETA #2

This past weekend was so nice to get away.  Part of me wanted to cancel the trip, because of this BETA LIMBO we've found ourselves in, yet I knew we REALLY needed some time away without the kids.  We haven't had a weekend away since last August!

Getting ready for our dinner date!

We stayed at this quaint little hotel nestled in the hills of  Santa Barbara with little cottages for the guests.  It had a B&B feel to it, yet a total romantic getaway... wine and cheese at 5 (except me!)!  We loved it!

Little cottages at night

Saturday C and I did a four mile hike down into the canyon walking along stream.  It felt amazing to be out in the fresh air with nature.  I really needed it with all this stress.  I was beyond exhausted when I got home and just wanted to take a nap, pool side.

The gorgeous hike!

Making it to the top!  So proud of us!   And p.s.  That cleavage was NOT there two weeks ago! ;-)

So what do you do on vacation when you might, maybe, be pregnant, and are surrounded by wine... EAT, EAT, EAT!  We got room service for breakfast.  And yes, I ate all of that!

One of the coolest parts of this hotel was that the Chef grew much of his own produce and it was organic!  You all know I'm a natural health fanatic! I was in heaven!

So with all this R&R, all I could think about was this MAYBE BABY.  Can I just say, I don't know whats worse a BFN, or this LIMBO.  The whole weekend I was fearing the worse!  How could this go well!?  And lets recap... BETA # 1 at 10dp5dt was a measly 33!  

I read blogs, and threads, some good and some bad on our down time.  I became a little obsessed with reading success stories.  I knew it could go either way!  This maybe baby had a 50% shot!  This maybe baby had many people praying for it (my close friends know and my parents).  I had to tell my parents after I got the BETA, I knew this baby needed some prayers, and if it didn't work, I would need some support from my besties and parents.

This is the best part... each day my tests kept getting darker!  I would POAS, come out disappointed and tell C it was lighter, then he would go in to check and say, "No, Sara, its darker now!"  No way!

 These tests work!  The top is from BETA #1 day, at 33 HCG. The middle test is from Saturday, FMU,  and the bottom is from yesterday morning, with diluted urine (after breakfast.)  Can you see the difference?

This morning I went in first thing at 7am so I would be sure to get my results back soon!  I waited and waited and waited.  They've always called in the morning.  Finally at 1:30 I called them!  I was so sick of waiting on eggshells!  For the number to double every 48 hours, it only needed to be at 132.

Low and behold, I cannot believe what my number is... 271 !!!!!!!!!  It more than quadrupled with a doubling time of 31.6 hours, per BetaBase.  This little babe is playing some catch up!

So I think I've figured out what MAY have happened.  FET's sometimes take a blast longer to implant, 1-5 days.  This blast implanted on day 5, which is why I got SUCH a squinter BFP the next day, and it slowly been doubling since then!  So I will likely be 5 days behind when we get to U/S.

I know we aren't out of the woods yet, I go back for another BETA wednesday, but for now, I'm PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!! Praise Jesus!!!!

The Only Thing Giving Me Hope...

After a good cry yesterday afternoon, I decided to POAS.  It was my last test.  I was shocked to see it  MUCH darker than all of the rest.  I don't want to say I am extremely hopeful, but I do have a little peace.  I will buy some more to get me through the weekend.

The bad news is that my bb's are so much LESS sore, than they were.  When I was pregnant with the boys, they were excruciating by this point. :-/

I'm still praying.  I'm praying for Gods will, whatever it may be.

Thank you so much for all of your kind words, I really appreciate it.

Oh the High's and Low's of IF

Yesterday's high just came crashing down with an extremely low BETA of 33. I'm devastated.  The worst part about it is, I can't take my second BETA until Monday.  I have to live in limbo for the next four days.

Chris and I had this "great plan" to go away this weekend up to Santa Barbara.  If it was negative, we would go wine tasting and if it was positive we would get some R&R.  This strait sucks.

Has anyone had such a LOW BETA and it turn out... or not?  I'm basically 15dpo.  I've never had a miscarriage, I don't know what to expect :(

As of Yesterday... 9dp5dt

OMGosh OMGosh OMGosh!  I feel so MUCH better.  Those faint lines really do a number to you!  We are more than thrilled!  God is so faithful!

Today, 10dpt, I just went for my BETA and will be getting the results later today!  I am PRAYING for a good number, please Lord!

Stay tuned! xoxo Sara

PINK LINES...

...But they are BARELY getting darker!  I can see why POAS early can be bad!  I'm worried now... although I know I shouldn't be!  God is in control!  He's got this!  This baby is going to stick or not, there is nothing I can do!

Every time I see pictures of people FRER tests they get so much darker! UGH!  What do you all think?

My BETA just got moved to Thursday... Praying!

6dp5dt- 7dp5dt

For the last couple days I had a feeling I've felt before...  That 'I'm Pregnant' kinda feeling. I know I said I wasn't going to POAS, but because, 'I knew,' I just HAD to!!

Yesterday 6dpt I ran out and got a box of FRER tests and tested mid day with pretty diluted urine. There was the lightest lightest line ever... A real squinter BFP! I almost had doubts it was there! But it was there!! In all my years TTC, before having the boys, I have NEVER had a squinter, they would be STARK WHITE! Praise Jesus!! I'm freaken Pregnant!!!!! 

I ran up to tell my hubby and he knew it too! We had been looking a new homes earlier because he wants more space if our family is growing, so I brought him the checkbook and a pen handed it to him and said, "are you ready to write that check for a down payment... Because WE'RE PREGNANT!!!!"

We are so excited! Except, because the line is soooo light, he is trying not to get too excited until BETA, friday. 

Today I poas'd with FMU. It's still pretty light, but it's pink!

I have one test left, i think I will wait to test again at 9dpt which would be 14dpo! I'm so excited! This is FREAKIN happening!

As for symptoms... My bb's are huge, and beyond sore. As I sit here and type, I can feel almost throbbing pain in them! This was my telltale sign! They have ONLY ever been this sore when pregnant. I've also been a little bloated like AF bloated. Today I have a headache, not sure if that is related, otherwise just tired now.  I also have not been sleeping great and waking up early. Although
so far not with hunger pangs like last time.

Today, I did a P90x3 workout, upper body, and took the boys to the tidepools in Corona Del Mar.  It was a beautiful day. Praying this week continues to go well and the sticks get darker!! Oh! Today is my hubby's birthday... What a gift! :))

I've Been a Little Naughty... 5dp5dt (FET)

This 2ww is different than any other I've experienced.  I realized, there is NOTHING I can do to make this microscopic, yet beautiful, embryo stick around.  It is either going to implant... or not.

I was always so fearful before...

No moving
No working out
No BDing

Well, I've broken all the rules.

I didn't do bedrest the second day (but rested a lot), I drove my car (1dpt), I took a Barre class 3dp5dt, sweated my booty off,  BD with my hubs, and I've been super active with my boys.  Its impossible with three year olds to just lay around!

I'm not doing anything high impact, and I took it easy with the BDing ;-)

On other end of the spectrum, I listen to my body and rest when I need a break, put a movie on for the boys, etc.  But, I have freedom!

It is OKAY to continue what you were doing before, if you were already active!

As for symptoms, they are getting stronger!

After posting my symptoms on my last post at 2dpt, I noticed my boobs were getting sore on the sides.  It's getting worse, along with the fatigue.... Progesterone?

I was looking back on my symptoms from my last pregnancy, and I noticed I had these sore boobs before, but they started going away, then returning!  So far they are just getting worse!

5dp5dt Symptoms

Cramps on and off, bloating, sore boobs, and fatigue!  I had NO progesterone symptoms for the five days before the transfer, and I started feeling my boobs getting sore the night of 2dp5dt.  Its looking good!  Praying they continue to get sore!!!

Here is a little pic of my boys yesterday at the park, which I rode my bike and pulled them in a trailer!  I'm staying active ;-)

Rocco (pushing) and Maximus (riding) 3 1/2 years old... my Huntington Beach Babes :)

Its been four years since I was pregnant with them!  Its crazy how much you forget, but man, I'm ready for it again!

2dp5dt (FET)

EEEEK!  I can't believe its already been three days!  I'm doing good and trying to stay busy, well at least today!  Today was the first day out of the house in five days!  I had the stomach flu last weekend so I was bed ridden (no fun!) and then the transfer Monday, which includes 48 hours of "rest."  It wasn't strict bedrest, but I was not supposed do much... no lifting the kids (sorry boys!), no cleaning (sorry babe!), and mostly resting on the couch.  I've read mixed reviews on bedrest after an IVF transfer.  Some swear by it, some thinks its "old news."

With the boys, I was on STRICT bedrest for transfer, so I figured it worked!  I read that the first two days of a five day transfer are when the embryo basically starts to implant into the uterus... or not!  So  rest, rest, rest it is!

I FINALLY was able to get out of the house today, so I took R and M to this little local zoo. It was nice to get out of the house and have some mommy and son's bonding.

As far as symptoms go, I thought I would document them since I love to obsess over everyone else's...

Transfer day- I came home and rested on the couch. I felt something going on in there!  It was like my uterus knew a little embryo was there, OR the embryo started to implant(??).  It was like a heaviness feeling, not crampy.

1dpt- I woke up with heartburn!  Seriously.  I have not had heartburn since I was pregnant with my twins! Ironic right!? I also had the same heaviness feeling in my uterus.

2dpt- Nodda.  Not crampy, no weird feelings in my uterus anymore. I woke up super early this morning and could not fall back to sleep for the life of me, however!  I am dragging today.  Very lethargic.  I've been fine on the progesterone since I started taking it 8 days ago, so I don't necessarily think its that.

And that is it so far!  I'm excited... and thinking happy baby thoughts! :D

I'm officially PUPO!!

Yup! We transferred ONE beautiful embryo today! I'm now resting on the couch watching my mom splash in the pool with Rocco and Maximus. life is good.

Our appointment was at 11am. We were called back at 11:30. I was expecting a valuum, like last time, but not this time! It was quick.

I was immediately told to get undressed, on the table, and when the nurse came back in, she strapped my legs into the stirrups. I couldn't move... A good thing for an embryo transfer!

After a good cleaning 😁 (I am on Profesterone suppositories, which are messy), the embryologist came in and brought our cute little emby. Dr. A quickly inserted the catheder, and we saw the white dot on the sonogram, with a picture to boot!

For now... thinking happy baby thoughts! Cheers!

FET is back on!

The cyst is GONE!  Woo hoo!  I stopped the BCP's and started my period on February 20 (CD 1).  The then had me start my estrogen patches to prepare my uterine lining.  I did two patches changing every three days and now I am up to four patches every three days.

Normally I would need to go back for a lining check at CD14, which would be tomorrow, but I am in Maui! Aloha!  They said it would be okay, and I am will be in Monday bright and early to see how everything is progressing.  Tentatively, transfer will be on March 16! Yay!  I am so ready!


Prior to this trip, I was eating SO clean and healthy, no alcohol etc.  However, since getting here, I have had coffee, wine, and a few Mai Thai's!  EEEEK!  I really hope I am not messing anything up!  I tried researching FET diet, but I am not coming up with much.  Next week I am planning on detoxing from coffee again, absolutely NO wine, and of course, getting back on track with my diet. I have never done an FET before, and I guess since I  am not growing eggs, I  feel a bit more relaxed about things... and being on vacation with our friends, doesn't help! 

Did any of you drink before your FET?