Sims day 8, 9, 10! IVF #3

So, I've started an IF Instagram if you want to follow me on there too (twinmommaSara_ttc)!  I'm posting on both places.  This one I'm more detailed on my emotions and what is going on with everything.  But, I post more on there... pics etc.  Instagram is has an amazing support group for infertility, IVF, and all things TTC.  The hashtag #IVFsisters is a great one to connect!  Its also fun following other sisters who are cycling the same time as you.

I added my fourth shot!  Here is my latest meds list:

5 iu lupron

1cc menaBURN (I say that bc it burns!)

1 cc HGH (Human Growth Hormone)

150 iu gonal-f 

This day was awesome.  I was still feeling good.  I had to go to the RE to have them mix up the Saizen (HGH) and get my third shot of the day in the morning.  When we (the boys and I) came back home, my friend Crystal came over with her kiddos.  It was such a beautiful day!  I heated up the pool for the kids to swim, while we lounged outside in the sun.  The pic above was taken at the boys t'ball game.  They were exhausted!  After the game they told me they didn't like baseball anymore, I honestly don't like it.  Its so demanding and my kids are only four!  I signed them up only for my husband who loves it!

I have one lead follicle measuring 20mm and another bunch measuring 16 and another bunch measuring 13.  Dr is going to ignore the lead follicle, pray it doesn't ovulate.  It shouldn't since i'm still on lupron.  We are going for the second bunch.  My E2 rose to 1900 so I'm starting the OHSS diet... staying away from carbs, sugars, and eating lots of fats, veggies, salt.  I'm adding himalayan salt to my water and drinking coconut water.

We went to a friend of the boys bday party.  I came home so exhausted! I started drinking the electrolyte water, but not the diet so much for lunch bc there weren't many options.  I cam home, my belly hurting and I was so tired.  Last night for dinner I just ate a burger no bun and salad.  I woke up feeling so much better.

Stims day 10!  This was from this morning.  I was hoping I would be ready to trigger, but I wasn't counting on it.  I've had to swim for 11 days the last two times.  Follicles are growing...

The one with the X is my lead follicle which is already at 26!  Its probably going to get over ripe ;)  but that is okay!  We are triggering tomorrow night!!!  I was thinking we were going to have less eggs, but I'm not so sure!  My Estrogen rose again from 1900 to 3200... OHSS here I come! :(  Just praying my diets helps!

 I will leave you with a pic from today of my free-spirited child, Maximus.  I just love him so much!

Our last chance....

I want to start by thanking those of you who commented on my last post.  Thank you for your kind words and words of encouragement.  I definitely needed some time to mourn the loss of yet another embryo and chance to give Rocco and Maximus a sibling.  C was very devastated too. He thought for sure our third embryo would be a taker.

The past month has been so good for us.  A break from TTC, and a chance to just be 'us' again.  Breaks are SO good!  Its hard taking breaks especially the older I am getting, and I'm sure some of you can relate.  I'm 34, and I always said I would be done by 35, God always has a way of changing our plans doesn't he?

But here we are, we have two "okay" embryos left.  We are transferring both. Its funny what IF does to a person.  In the beginning, C was VERY adamant about only wanting one baby, and only transferring one embryo.  But after almost 1 year since we started the journey for #3, we just want a healthy baby or two!  We want better chances, and to be done.  IF takes such a toll every month.  Every negative or loss is heartbreaking, and it takes time to recover again.

My boys ask me for a baby sister.  Just yesterday Rocco said, "I want God to give me a baby sister."  I replied, "I want God to give you a baby sister too!  Sometimes God says 'no' or 'not yet' and we don't always know why.  But Mommy loves you and Maximus SO much, and I am SO happy with just us!"  It might just be us four, and I have to be okay with it, I can be okay with it... I will be okay with it.  Please Lord help me be content if your answer is no!

I've been looking into adoption as well, not to seriously yet, but a little.  I've looked at international verses domestic. Both are hard and take a lot of time.  I'm open to it, but the process is difficult. We really need to pray about it. And its hard to think about when we still have two beautiful blasts waiting to go home in my uterus.

Last cycle post FET #3 was a fast one, 34 days.  I  had a feeling it would be a good one since I felt really good and healthy. Today I'm CD6 and am my E2 Vivelle dots.  Our tentative transfer date it September 25.

What we are doing different this cycle?  Starting at square one...  Going back to where we conceived our sons.  We are transferring our embryos to the Redondo Beach office, Dr. R (my original dr) will be doing my transfer, I am having Kristine be our embryologist (she was our embryologist with our boys), and we are doing assisted hatching (that will be different.).

I want to say I'm hopeful, but my heart breaks in reality.  I don't want to lose these last two.  I'm praying these will be our take home babies, both of them.  I'll take the bedrest, I'll take the pains, I'll take the C-section, I'll take it all for these two little ones to make it.  I love these two. 

I loved all of them.  Each one has caused me heartbreak each one has caused me to love it, and want it.  I just have to believe, the ones we lost will be waiting for me in Heaven.  That is only what makes sense to my feelings.  They were a life, they were alive, they just didn't make it.

Treating PCOS... Naturally? Pregnitude, clean eating and exercise!

Prior to getting pregnant, I felt there was only one way to deal with my Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome... Medication.  The only two options that were given to me were to "get on birth control pill" if not TTC, or "take Metformin" if I was planning to conceive.  YIKES!  Is our only answer?  We have to stay on medication the rest of our lives or until we hit menopause?

Breast feeding had taken care of my symptoms for the most part.  My skin was still clear and I was losing weight.  If fact I had lost ALL of my baby weight by the time the boys were five months old!  However, in the back of my mind, I knew once I stopped at had two choices, get back on Metformin or BCP's.  I chose neither!

My two main PCOS symptoms are acne and irregular periods.  I have never been over weight however at times, like when my PCOS is in full force I do find it harder to lose weight if I gained or I will gain easy.

That being said, I had decided to research Natural remedies.  I don't want to be on medication.  Now that I am 31, I don't think it is wise to be on BCP, since it can lead to blood clots.  Metformin is a DRUG, that can't be good for long term use either.  Especially because it is know to cause Vitamin B12 deficiency.  I can only imagine what it does to our liver (just speculating!).

I found a supplement called Myo-Inositol.  There have been numerous studies that have shown very positive effects on women who have PCOS.  Some of these include more regular cycles, less acne, reduce miscarriage rates, improve ovary function, better egg quality, etc.  Even though C and I are not TTC, I am going to be taking the supplement called Pregnitude, which you do not need a prescription for.  It has the most mg/dose that I could find on the market and seems to be very easy to take.  I will be taking it every AM/PM for the next six months and will be updating my progress.

The greatest sign will be my cycle lengths.  With Metformin, my shortest cycle was, I believe, 39 days. Normally I range from 50-80.

My Current cycles Post Breastfeeding

First- 35 days

Second- 44 days (this is when I realized I needed to do something!)

Third- still waiting... I'm CD34 

My Plan

1. Eat clean. This is not a diet.  Its how I CHOOSE to eat and live my life. Its how my family eats.

2. Exercise. I workout 3-4 days a week. Three days circuit training, 1 day jogging. With added family walks/bike rides

3. Pregnitude. Take every morning and evening.

4. Document progress

I am looking forward to this journey and hoping for a positive outcome.  Although we are not TTC, we are not preventing. I hope you follow along! :)