Friday was rough. I cried on and off through out the day, but I had to still be a mom which kept me busy, thankfully! The hardest part was having to tell our friends and family who were so excited for us that we lost this baby. I know so many people wait to announce their pregnancy's, but you know what, I am so thankful we had such a support of people praying for us, and giving us time to grieve.
I posted this on my Instagram and my FB page on Saturday morning and I thought I would share it on here. This was from my daily quiet time I spend with Jesus...
Psalm 23 is always what I turn to when I need reassurance, peace, comfort, strength. I am so thankful for the Lord and what He has done in my life. As a Christian, we are not promised a life without pain, or hurt, but we are promised a savior to comfort us, and guide us through the dark valley's, which we all go through. Sometimes things don't make sense, but I know the Lord is ALWAYS faithful, and ALWAYS good, no matter the circumstances. He never fails, but His plans are right, just, and fair, even when we can't see it. He is ALWAYS with us. I will rest in His green meadows, where I will find peace. Thank you Jesus for being my light in the world of darkness. Amen.
After reading and praying, I felt ready to move on. Chris and I took the boys on a family run, we ran errands, rested, made dinner and enjoyed a bottle of wine. It was nice to spend some quality time together as a family.
Sunday, I was feeling good as well, but when we got to church, I ran into a lady who knew, she hugged me and tears began, again. Church was so moving. Worship was awesome, I could praise Jesus and thank Him for what he has given us. I look forward to meeting that little babe who is now in a better place. God is good.
(TMI) Right after church I went to the bathroom and there it was, my period. ugh! Heavy and horrible. I read that you aren't supposed to use tampons after a miscarriage because your cervix dilates, so I've been wearing pads... Not fun. It just felt like a regular heavy period, that was until last night. I woke up clenching the pillow having what felt like contractions about 1 min apart. I was in the worst pain! I had to stand up and was leaning over my bed clenching like I was in labor! I went to the bathroom and I heard a big plop, looking in the toilette and saw a pretty big clot, of which I am assuming were the remains. It was terrible. However, after that, the pains subsided and I went back to sleep. My period has been very light today, just spotting red.
I am sad about everything but I am now ready to move on and try again! One more period to go and we'll be back on the saddle!
In the mean time... working out, eating clean (with the occasional glass of wine!), and my PCOS supplements!
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