Friday, July 31, 2015

9dp5dt... FET#3

As of yesterday, all symptoms, are gone.  No cramps, no sore bbs (well at least no more sore than they were), nothing is noticeable anymore.  I have to admit, I'm feeling completely let down.  I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach saying, "this didn't work."

Before yesterday, I had the "I'm 90% sure this DID work," feeling. Why!? Why!? Why is this so dang hard.  Why does this hurt so bad?  It is so true that no matter where you are in your journey, if you have one kid, two kids, or however many, any amount of IF really hurts.  My heart feels broken once again.

I really needed to cry this morning. I did.  I felt better.  For some reason my mind keeps going back to this image...

"The Child Who Was Never Born" by Martin Hudeceka

My heart is heavy. For all of us.

I have not POAS, so I know I don't have a definitive answer, but I am not optimistic.  I'm sorry for being so down and depressed.

The one time I want to be bloated (my one real definitive symptom), my stomach is as flat as a board.


amberlynn said...

Oh honey I'm sorry you are feeling down. I have to hand it to you for not POAS. If I was doubtful and feeling the way you are I would have for sure POAS. Praying for you!!

My (In)fertile Confessions said...

Thank you amber! I honestly am so close to doing it!! Yesterday, when the symptoms stopped I got the itch to POAS. My husband is going to kill me with my crazy emotions, he probably going to make me... To get it over with! ;)

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