BETA DAY

Sorry I haven't updated.  It has not been the smoothest 2WW.

 The morning of transfer, I woke up at about 5 am.  I wanted to go have my quiet time.  Today was a big day, and C and I decided it was likely going to be the last time we are going to do this regardless of the outcome (although we have said that many times).  But for some reason, this time it felt more real.  I sat down with my bible and devotion and opened to todays devotional and the heading was TRUST ME ANYWAY.  It was the perfect thing for me to read that morning and honestly the only way I could get through this 2ww.  I'm just going to share my instagram post I wrote that morning...

"I took this picture a few months ago on my way to a hair appointment. The sunset was just so gorgeous that I literally had to pull over the car to capture it. I thanked God for making such a beautiful sunset. Sometimes it seems like they happen at the perfect time, like they were painting just for... me! Do you ever feel that way?

In my quiet time this morning, I was reading in a devotional I actually bought for my kiddos. It brought tears to my eyes. The heading was "Trust Me Anyway" it was like he was speaking directly to me! 

And then the verse... "I told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble. But be brave! I have defeated the world!" John 16:33

God doesn't promise us a problem free life, but he does promise to be with us through the storms. One thing is for certain, when my faith was tested through this journey and our four miscarriages, He NEVER let me go, even when I wanted to. He hung on to me when my faith hung on by a thread. Now, even through SO much heartache, I can stand firm in his love for me. I may never understand the why we had to go through this trial, but Lord, I do trust you anyway."

Transfer went smoothly.  Everything happened as it should.  Usually, I am a nervous wreck, anxiety is at a all time high, but this time was different.  I was calm, relaxed even.  I usually want to go strait home on bedrest, but this time, C and I went out to lunch!  We stopped by a new little restaurant called Eat Chow.  And because everyone always eat Mc Donald's Fries afterward (I just can't do that knowing how many chemicals are in their food!), we ordered some truffle garlic fries instead! OMGosh SO delish!

Then, I went home on bedrest.

Dr. P requires strict bedrest is required for three days (I only did two days with my twins).  The next morning, however, I woke up with a UTI of all things.  I tried to get someone to call in a prescription for me, but no one would.  First I was sent to my labcorp, but they couldn't test with a dip stick, only culture. So, Finally I ended up in urgent care, got my usual macrobid, and went back home.  I was terrified to take an antibiotic thinking it would kill the embryo, but I also didn't want a kidney infection.  I had to remind myself of what I felt God was telling me, "Trust me anyway!"

It cleared up right away, but on the second day, I ended up with a rash all over my abdomen.  It was the macrobid!  I have taken it many times before but now i'm allergic! Great!  My body is attacking the embryo!  TRUST ME ANYWAY!  I stopped the Macrobid after the second day, the third day, the rash was all over my face! Oh this is terrible, I am sure this cycle is a BUST.  TRUST ME ANYWAY!

Pray. Wait. Trust.

Dr's wanted me to take a STRONGER antibiotic Cipro, but since I wasn't having any more UTI symptoms, I decided not to take it.  I picked up a natural alternative called D-Mannose.  I started taking that every three hours when I stopped the macrobid.  Apparently it worked!

My symptoms started 3dp6dt:  Major bloat, sore boobs on the sides, heaviness  and pulling in uterus. I feel like as soon as implantation happens, I get this pooch!  It has progressively gotten bigger and bigger all week!

4dp6dt, I got a squinter on a FRER.  I mean it was like a barely there, am I seeing things squinter

5dp6dt, I was still questioning it. So I went and got these walmart cheapie tests...

6dp6dt, I wrote, "Symptoms: HOT all night, pulling and heaviness in the uterus, peed twice last night.  

Its all been the same, just increasing symptoms, peeing on sticks like a crazy lady!  Starting at 4 weeks and 1 day, I noticed an increase in my appetite.  I had vegan french toast for breakfast and then i was STARVING after church and all I wanted was a hamburger!  We went to the habit and i had a lettuce wrap double double!  I hadn't eaten there since I was pregnant with my boys. The last two mornings I've eating homemade meatballs and marinara for breakfast.  

The weirdest part is, I thought I would be ballooning up from the prednisone I'm on. Nope!  I've lost seven pounds!  I'm down to 135 as of this morning, and that is with me having a giant bloated tummy!  I think my body likes prednisone.  I was terrified of getting moon face.  But I'm losing weight!

I woke up this morning and took this test, 12dp6dt, which apparently is the same as 12dp5dt.  I just did that receptivity test to confirm my Uterus is receptive day six (like when i had my boys).

Best test yet, and you know I'm going to keep on testing!  I can't wait til Friday!  They just keep getting better.  Blood is drawn!  We also did our repeat immune labs... 10 vials of blood, checking my NK cells, antibodies etc. C had to do some too for it too.  I will get a report in a couple days and then I will know what my next dose of IVIG needs to be for next Wednesday!

BETA TEST

OMG... I just got the call!!!!! I'm PREGNANT!!!!!  291 is the number!  Thank you JESUS!  I wish it was like the first time all over again.  Crying, tears of joy!  Unfortunately, that joy has been robbed from me.  I am SO happy we have a GREAT number, we have such a LONG road ahead.  My next beta is Friday... three days away!  Please Lord, protect this life.  Give us this baby we have desperately prayed for. Your will your way is always the right ways Lord, but please give us your favor once more.  We love you Lord.  You are the author and creator of life.  Your name is who we praise.  Your name and your name alone will be the one I praise for all of my days.  To you be the glory Lord, of this precious life. Amen.

See that bump!  It was flat as a board, but now I have a pooch! Praise Jesus! (bruises from heparin!)

The Test of Faith Through Infertility

I was reflecting at church last night during worship with tears in my eyes, praising God for how faithful He is... some of my darkest days were during this journey.

Just this year, during our last miscarriage, my faith hung on by a thread. It was tested beyond measure, I was losing hope. How could God allow me to go through this? But how could he NOT? He allowed me to be tested. No this wasn't his original plan, but this is the one thing he allowed, that is beyond painful, to show me he is walking with me, hurting with me, and carrying me through the pain of Infertility, the pain and hurt of losing three babies.

In the past two years (not to mention the 2.5 years in took to conceive my twins), my faith has been tested beyond measure, I have been on my knees begging God with tears streaming down my cheeks for him to take this desire for a baby away if it wasn't his plan and begging him for one, if it was. But this test is my testimony, that God loves me unconditionally, he has shown me time and time again how faithful he truly is! My relationship with Jesus is stronger than ever, and I can say that I love him SO much more than I did before I started this journey eight years ago.

Each passing year he has shown me his grace, showed me his great love for me that I have humbly accepted and grown my faith beyond measure. I know the Lord and he knows me. We can let infertility ruin us, or we can put our hope and faith in a God who wants to GROW us! Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would have this struggle. However, everyone on earth has some type of struggle, this happens to be ours, and it has made me who I am... an underserving Child of God, who is humbly saved by his grace. I love him more and more each passing day. Thank you Jesus for this gift, of you!

I hope all of you find peace, comfort and faith from a God who loves you beyond measure and allow him to work big things in your hearts, allowing this test to also be your testimony❤️

Transfer Day!

The night before transfer I was calm and filled with peace (as I wrote in prev post).  I slept great, woke up refreshed, had a quiet time.  I have been loving my prayer life with the Lord.  I started journaling my prayers and it really helps me to focus and open up.  Anyway, we ate breakfast, got the kids ready for Disneyland, Nonna and Papa were taking them, and we were off!

We had to be there at 9am... then we waited.  At first this really irritated me about my new RE.  Always waiting, but then I realized it was because he was the best in the area and totally slammed!  So I changed my attitude and decided he was worth the wait.  We waited 1 hour and 40 min before being called back.  Thankfully I prepped Chris on the waiting, so he was able to work the whole time on his laptop. A little annoying, but okay because he was there with me.

Dr. P came in with a pic of our perfectly normal embryos.  He said they were completely hatched out of their shell but didn't give me any grades.  Apparently calling them 6's is old school.  This place is much more advanced than what I'm used to for sure!  He left for a few and came back in, prepped me,  inserted a catheter which I saw on the screen and said that another catheter would go through it carrying our embabes! It was so fast!  I saw two beautiful flashes and they were there, back to where they belong.

I laid there for about 15 minutes before I was sent back to the surgery center for another round of lipids.  I closed my eyes, listened to an IVF meditation on Youtube and rel

axed.

I came home and I'm now on three days of bedrest.  It was a perfect day... although I really missed my boys, I was thankful they were gone so I could rest in peace and let these little ones implant (hopefully!).  I keep hearing Pomegranate juice is so good for implantation so I made a mocktail of Cold pressed Pomegranate and San Pellegrino.  Very delicious!

I also did my first lovenox injection.  I heard it burns and it does!  It feels like menapur, so it wasn't SO bad, I just pushed it in slow. :)

 I will post my 1dpt on another post...

3dp5dt FET#4

The last couple days were a breeze... today, hormonal mess!  I feel ultra sensitive, ultra tired, bloated and I have an on again off again headache that I woke up with.  I know it is all related to all the wonderful hormones I am on, but it sure makes it extremely hard not to think... what if?

I know it is WAY too early for any REAL pregnancy symptoms, but feeling like this makes me have POAS on my mind! Do you think I can hold out?  I have one FRER upstairs.  I should just go use it, to get it out of the house!  WHY OH WHY is the 2WW so hard!?

You really forget how difficult it is, until those P4 symptoms kick into high gear!

I've been pretty crampy since 1dpt, but I will list yesterdays...

• 2dp6dt- cramps, twinges, EXHAUSTED by 3pm (I couldn't finish putting away the groceries I had to lay down!), not a huge appetite.

• 3dp5dt- woke up with a dull headache and its been coming and going today, cramps still, maybe my bb's are getting sore (?), emotional, really tired all day, not a big appetite.

One thing I forgot to mention prior to transfer...  So a week prior to transfer I had been reading about assisted hatching and noticed on all the sites that it mentioned that the steroid, Medrol is necessary to take so your body doesn't reject the embryos and have an inflammatory response. Well, once I realized that, I immediately called my RE's office to speak to a nurse.  Only Barbara was available and she is not my favorite.  She always seems to make me feel like I'm asking too many questions.  Anyway, she said that they no longer use Medrol because new studies have shown it doesn't help either way.

That was not good enough for me!

I emailed Dr. A. and she said that it was true that they didn't normally give Medrol anymore, but looking back at my twins cycle, I WAS ON MEDROL!!!! Can you believe that!?  She said it would be up to me if I wanted it again.  I replied, "absolutely since that was my one cycle that worked!"

I can't help but wonder if that was my missing link for the last three cycles!  So LAME!

This journey can be so frustrating!

I started the Medrol Sunday and finished yesterday.  I had to take 4 pills a day for 4 days.

This morning I also woke up with a sick feeling in my stomach too!  I realized that Assisted Hatching, AH, was not mentioned at transfer and it wasn't on my embryo report.  I have been on the phone with my RE, and no one has an answer for me!  Apparently they are short handed in the lab and the embryologies haven't gotten back!  I just want to confirm it was done... for peace of mind, I guess!

I told C about my fears that AH wasn't preformed.  His reply, "Gods bigger than assisted hatching!" Duh!  He is so confident this is going to work this time!  I love it!  I really need some verses to rebuke doubt right now!  I think I will google some...

Wow!  For those of you who need a kick in the pants on FAITH, read Hebrews 11.  So good!

FET #4 Transfer Day Update!

Thinking PINK!  Although we would be happy, ecstatic, blessed, grateful, with a healthy baby or two no matter the sex!  On our way!

Yesterday went off without a hitch.  Except for the fact that I woke up at 4 am to pee and then couldn't go back to sleep for the life of me because I was TOO EXCITED!  I couldn't believe the day was finally here!  I ended up getting out of bed at 4:30, made a cup of Tulsi Camomile tea and spent some time in The Word.

I'm in reading in 1 Samuel and I'm to the part where Saul went to meet Samuel so he could speak a prophetic word to him.  When he arrived, Samuel said to Saul, I've been waiting for you!  I have a word from the Lord.  He went on and said that he was going to be king and rule over the Isrealites.  Saul replied, who me?  But I am the least in all of my tribe!  He was anointed, filled with the Holy Spirit and went on to be a King!  It was the perfect reading for this transfer day.  I couldn't help but reflect on our last two embryo's.  They were the weakest in the bunch, but God LOVES to use the weak to make them strong!  It was so comforting and reassuring to read this and confirm that I can trust in him and his promises.

We ate a quick breakfast, took quick showers and I used coconut oil as lotion since it is all natural (my favorite anyway), nothing scented!  My friend L came to help with the boys yesterday.  This time we didn't tell ANYONE, besides her, that we were having our transfer.  C is a little superstitious, since we didn't tell anyone with the boys and it worked then.  When I walked out front I looked up and the sky was just gorgeous!  I was like it was a sign that today was going to be perfect...

C and I feeling hopeful before we left!

We arrived in Redondo Beach a little before 9am.  I met my acupuncturist, D,  in the lobby for the first time, she is very sweet and helpful.  C went to go get a cup of coffee at a coffee shop while I had my acupuncture done and I realized I left my water bottle in the car I was supposed to drink!  Acupuncture was okay.  It wasn't that relaxing before transfer because I was SO anxious!  I just wanted to know how my little embabies were doing.  One of my fears was that one would not make the thaw.  However, D brought an awesome meditation for me to listen to which helped a bit.  While I was laying there I was envisioning  God's hands holding our to blasts like usual.  I was also envisioning angels surrounding me blowing trumpets, it was a beautiful thing!  Then as I saw Gods hands, the were suddenly over my belly and I saw him open His hands and let them fall onto my stomach.  It was amazing!  It was like he was telling me they are going to be okay, these are the ones I am giving you!  I pray this is right!

After acupuncture I drank three large glasses of water quickly and took my valium.  They wheeled me into the transfer room, which is the same room I had my ER in too.  Dr. A checked to see if my bladder was full enough, and it wasn't so I had to drink another large glass of water.  I was a little relieved because my valium hadn't kicked in just yet.  A few minutes later Kristine our embryologist from R & M's rescue ICSI cycle came in and I totally teared up!  It was so good to see her!  I showed her a picture of my boys and she said she always shows other couples who end up needing rescue ICSI a picture I gave her of my twins, who need hope!  I thought that was beautiful!  They are such miracles!

Kristine said "BOTH embryo's thawed beautifully!" Praise Jesus!  C got to see them in the petri dish again prior to transfer, just like with the boys.  I think that is so cool!  I am SO thankful we transferred these two back to where it all began!

Our beautiful blasts... The top is a 4AB, and the bottom a 3AB.  He makes the weak STRONG!

Transfer was perfect too!  Dr. A is awesome, she really took her time and researched where Dr. R placed the twins in my Uterus, so she could put these two in the exact same spot!  I do have scar tissue from having my septum removed AND from C-section so I am praying these two find the perfect cozy location.

After transfer I was wheeled back into recovery, where I had my second session of Acupuncture and I listened to another meditation.  This time I was so relaxed I fell asleep!

Lucky socks!

After I woke up, I had to pee!  She wheeled me in a wheel chair to the bathroom, then wheeled me out to meet C who was getting the truck.  I had my legs up and was reclined for the drive home.  Once home, I heated up lunch in the toaster oven, and laid in bed... and fell asleep until 4pm! I tried to get my boys to go to the park while I rested, but they insisted on taking a nap too!  We all slept until 4!

1dp5dt- today I'm sticking to couch rest.  I'm lounging, still in my pjs, drinking water, and trying to pass the time.  I'm going to try real hard not to symptom spot OR POAS this cycle.  We'll see because I can usually tell if its going to be a neg.  Today I am a little crampy, just mild AF type.  I'm shocked my bb's are NOT sore at all.  Last July when I did PIO for the first time, my bb's were sore on transfer day!  Every time is a little different apparently.

Beta day is on October 31!  I'm going to be staying busy busy busy until then!

This was a long post so if you read it all... YOU ROCK!  Please con't to pray for my little embabies!  THANK YOU!!!! xoxo

9dp5dt... FET#3

As of yesterday, all symptoms, are gone.  No cramps, no sore bbs (well at least no more sore than they were), nothing is noticeable anymore.  I have to admit, I'm feeling completely let down.  I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach saying, "this didn't work."

Before yesterday, I had the "I'm 90% sure this DID work," feeling. Why!? Why!? Why is this so dang hard.  Why does this hurt so bad?  It is so true that no matter where you are in your journey, if you have one kid, two kids, or however many, any amount of IF really hurts.  My heart feels broken once again.

I really needed to cry this morning. I did.  I felt better.  For some reason my mind keeps going back to this image...

"The Child Who Was Never Born" by Martin Hudeceka

My heart is heavy. For all of us.

I have not POAS, so I know I don't have a definitive answer, but I am not optimistic.  I'm sorry for being so down and depressed.

The one time I want to be bloated (my one real definitive symptom), my stomach is as flat as a board.

6dp5dt... FET #3!

Today marks the day I got my BFP for FET #1, and the day I tested last month. This month, I have no desire to test. I have no desire to see a pink line, since there is no guarantee there will be a strong BETA. I also don't want to see another BFN, I would want to quit all my meds again! I was an emotional wreck last month... And the month I saw pink lines. I don't know how some of you do it, each and every cycle. I'm am done with the POAS... For now! I even have two FRER's sitting in my bathroom and I'm not tempted in the least.

When I knew l was going to do PIO shots, I also vowed not to symptom spot, since I knew my symptoms would be different and probably stronger. However, it is so hard not to pay attention to everything. I can feel things that are different, and that gives me hope!

The past weekend end was crazy busy, sorry I didn't update! We spent the day at the beach for my nieces 14th birthday (where does the time go?!). I remember when she was born, I was studying abroad in Florance, Italy. I received the email of her beautiful picture and cried! She was so cute and is really turning into such a wonderful young lady (that makes me sound old, but it's true!).

My "symptoms"

3dp5dt- really sore bb's (PIO), crampy, in a melancholy mood. Just relaxed on the beach watching the wave while my parents played with my boys in the waves. It was so nice. It the morning I was super grumpy with C and the boys, but that went away.

4sp5dt- Randomly decided to take basal body temp ... 98.6!  I was irritable again. Super tired, bb's sore, and crampy. These cramps are really throwing me off. I've never had them so bad! It makes me a little worried, but I've also read positive stories with cramps. I had NO sex drive. We are NOT BDing until heartbeat, but I also need to take care of C... I was super grumpy about it. Not in the mood AT ALL!

5dp5dt- in a much better mood today. I woke up at 5, had to pee and could not fall back asleep, but laid there til 630. Took BBT again... 99.0!! That is the highest it has ever been for me! I retook it four times to be sure. All morning I felt to hot like a hot flash. Gagged while brushing teeth. Super duper crampy in the afternoon, felt like period cramps. Gagged while cleaning off the boys lunch plate of leftover hummus. So odd for me. BB's a little less sore? Not sure. Also INCREASED sex drive. Really wanted the BD, but knew we shouldn't... Poor C!

6dp5dt- woke up having the most vivid sex dream, ever! It was so REAL! I've read about that happening to people, but I never understood it... Until now! Maybe it's because we can't BD?! Took temp... 99.1!!!! What?!?! Retook it 4 times and then took C's to make sure my thermometer was working... His was 97.7! I'm not sick at all. I had some light cramps in the morning, but now I feel fine. My bb's are less sore but still full.  My low back is a little achy this afternoon and I'm still really crampy.  I even thought about taking a tylenol, but I know these are period cramps.

That is it for symptoms! This week has been crazy. My poor dog, Oliver, tore his ACL on Saturday. We think from jumping off our back yard table. Didn't see it. He is having surgery tomorrow morning. Please pray for him. He is my first born, my baby :(

Staying Busy! 2dp5dt... FET#3

Well, today I was off bedrest and today I was BUSY!  I had almost no time to obsess over my symptoms... or google!

That is the key to the 2WW... STAY BUSY!!  Time will fly by :)

This morning I rushed my twins to their regular Friday swim lesson.  They have been going since they were 13 months old.  I am so happy that I've been consistent with them because they are now better swimmers than me at three years old!  They now swim with big arms, know the back stroke, and are working on side breathing.  Next year, at 4 1/2 I plan to put them on the swim team!  Its really amazing seeing them swim and I am so glad they are water safe!  I highly recommend everyone with kids to find a swim school that teaches water safety, i.e. floating on the back first!

After that, I had to RUSH home because I realized I FORGOT to put my E2 patches back on after the shower!  I was freaking out... just a little bit! I probably had them off 1 hour total, so I know I didn't wreck anything, but still!  Oops!

We headed to the protected wetlands after our stop at home, to explore nature and go for a walk.  It is 5 min from our house and the boys love it.  It is where the ocean comes in, fish lay eggs, birds nest, there are all kinds of sea creatures, etc.  One time a dolphin got trapped in there and had to get rescued!

Here are a few pics from our day...

Maximus Matteo finding little sea creatures

Rocco and Maximus, my big boys!  I love how they hold hands!

Throwing rocks and searching for crabs :)

After that we went on a little day date for lunch.  Just us three... and my pooch Oliver!  It was such good quality time.

We went home to rest up a bit before C came home to take us fishing!  We have a little lake in our city, it is called Central Park, but we aren't in NYC obviously, but I do love where we live.

Maximus

Rocco and Daddy 

Mommy and Maximus :)

We literally live 5 min from the lake and Rocco was asleep before we were home.  It is hit or miss with the naps lately,  but today he obviously needed one.  He was OUT!  I laid him on the couch, fed the rest of us, put jammy's on him and he didn't even wake up!  I had BOTH boys asleep before 7PM... a record!

2dp5dt symptoms...

Not too many, but I am still having a lot of cramping, which surprises me!  Can that be from the progesterone?  I really only felt it when I was sitting, driving, etc. but they were pretty consistent today. My bb's are HUGE and SORE.  We'll see if they continue.  

I saw that in my pregnancy with my boys, they were super sore, then got less sore, then got SUPER DUPER sore... bloating is my real giveaway.  I know its too early for anything HCG wise.  I love this timeline...

This is what happens in a 3 day transfer:

1 day post transfer - embryo is growing and developing
2  days post transfer - Embryo is now a blastocyst
3 days post transfer - Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
4 days post transfer - Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
5 days post transfer - Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
6 days post transfer - Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
7 days post transfer - Morula is completely inmplanted in the lining and has placenta cells &  fetal cells
8 days post transfer - Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
9 days post transfer - More HCG is produced as fetus develops 
10 days post transfer - More HCG is produced as fetus develops 
11 days post transfer - HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT

This is what happens in a 5 day (blastocyst) transfer:

1 day post transfer - Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
2 days post transfer - Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
3 days post transfer - Implantation begins, as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
4 days post transfer - Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
5 days post transfer - Morula is completely inmplanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells
6 days post transfer - Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
7 days post transfer - More HCG is produced as fetus develops 
8 days post transfer - More HCG is produced as fetus develops 
9 days post transfer - HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT

Keeps things into perspective! :)

FET #3 Transfer Day! 1dp5dt

Transfer yesterday was probably the best it has ever gone.  I mean, they didn't go bad before, but yesterday, was a whole new level!

My mom came with me to transfer, because C wasn't sure if he was going to be able to make it.  He had meetings that were planned a month ago.  It was with a big client.  I wasn't upset, but sad for him not to be there.  He mentioned that morning that there was a slim chance he would be able to make it if his meeting got done in time.  Mom and I were sitting in the waiting room and low and behold, C walks in just in time!  I was so surprised! I needed my mom there regardless so she could drive me home... a had my valium to relax ;)

After I was all strapped in, cleaned up, the embryologist came in, I told him my name, and he told me the blast, our 4AB, was doing extremely well and was already expanding (getting ready to hatch, but not hatching yet!).  Dr. Amin did my transfer.  I really love her!  She is very sweet.  Anyway, she seemed to be EXTRA careful.  She put the catheter in, waited for 2 min to ensure my uterus was not contracting, dropped our beautiful 4AB, waiting another min or two before removing the catheter.  I got a GREAT shot of our little emby...

We waited 10 minutes.  Got up, peed, kissed C goodbye and my mom drove me home.  I had another friend, L, helping with the boys.  Mom took over once we got home.  I went strait to my bed while she made lunch for all of us.

Rocco, Maximus and Mom all fell asleep on the couch down stairs after swimming, while I got some Zzzz's upstairs.  My mom came in at 5pm saying she just woke up!  So funny!

I was feeling crampy yesterday, a good sign for me and my bb's are already getting big and sore... another good sign my P4 is working, finally!

Today 1dp5dt

I decided that complete bedrest (like I did for FET #2 and got a BFN) was not for me!  Plus my boys needed to get out of the house and burn energy or they are wild ban chi's!  So, I did NO picking up, got them ready and took them to gymnastics class, where I sit and watch.  It was perfect!  Then we got home, ate lunch (I have no help today), and went and floated in the hot tub (set at 95 degrees).  It was awesome!

Symptoms so far: Really crampy today, they are light cramps, but definitely noticeable, and of course sore bb's from PIO

Also, I VOW to NOT test early this time.  It makes me a crazy woman... I cannot do that to my hubby :(

One more thing, my left side/hip/thigh area has gone numb I'm sure from PIO!  Has this happened to anyone before?  It feels really strange.  I must have hit a nerve or something!?

I will leave you with a pic of my lovely shot.  YES that needle has to go  ALL THE WAY IN.

5dp5dt... FET #2

Well, I woke up today thinking all hope was lost.  Bloating gone, bb's NOT sore at all, and I felt completely back to normal... besides a serious cold I have!

I'm coughing, sneezing and blowing my nose like crazy, and I can't take a thing!  For now, loading up on fresh ginger and lemon tea with raw honey.  Drinking all day to hopefully kick this nasty bug.

I ended up loading the twins up in my burley bike trailer and towed them with my neighbor friend C (I have a lot of C's in my life as of late!) and her kids to a local park close by.  We had a nice time catching up, Oliver got to do his favorite activity, chase squirrels, they are everywhere down there, and we went on a little "adventure" through the "woods."  The park is right next to the wetlands and is surrounded by trees and bushes and the boys like to hunt for lions, tigers and bears!  It is definitely a favorite activity.

I noticed down at the park that my stomach started feeling a little bloated again and my right nipple keeps having sharp pains in it.  I tried just blowing it off.

Once home, the boys ate lunch, and are now taking a nap.  I am extremely bloated as I sit here and I'm still having that nipple pain on and off (but no sore bbs).  I am also exhausted and might just take a nap too!  The tiredness might just be from my cold or progesterone... or is it maybe a baby? Hmmmmm...  It is funny how as soon as I was SURE our little 3AB didn't take, I am now starting to question!

Holy Cramps! 3dp5dt - 4dp5dt FET#2

All week I was looking forward to spending Saturday with one of my BFF's.  We planned a girls day, breakfast at our favorite little organic restaurant, Green Leaf, then popping over to the Fermentation Farm for some Kombucha tasting, and then to the Hyatt for a day at the spa.  I figured a day of R&R would be perfect for my little 3AB to settle in nicely.  At 3dp5dt or 8dpo is when implantation usually occurs.  Unfortunately, our nice day didn't turn out so nice for me.

I woke up feeling fine, besides a little stuffy/runny nose, got ready, kissed the kids and C goodbye, and drove off to pick up my friend, C.

(TMI)We were having a nice breakfast, good conversation, decaf coffee (of course!), when I realized I REALLY needed to use the bathroom.  That coffee went right through me!  Once done, we headed off to our next stop, except my tummy wasn't feeling so hot!  I was getting excruciating menstrual cramps.  I thought maybe I had to GO again?!

We made it to the Hyatt, and were walking into the spa and I had to stop and catch my breath because the pain was so bad.  We got to the spa, and I immediately asked to use the bathroom.  I try to go again to no relief.  I really just wanted to go home, but I didn't want to mess up C's day!  Our appointments weren't until later, so we headed to the pool.  I laid in the fetal position on the lounge chair to get relief.  Once I stopped moving I began to feel better.

We checked back into the spa and I thought maybe my massage would help my tummy relax. Boy was I wrong!  It had some nice moments, but by the end I couldn't wait for it to be over!  I was in excruciating pain.  Pain so bad I could barely walk, was dizzy, wanted to throw up and poop all at once.  No joke it felt like labor!  WHAT THE HECK!?

C had to help me get dressed, carry my bag.  It took us 30 min to walk to my car, because I needed to keep stopping.  I was scared.  I almost had her take me to the emergency room!

I spoke to the nurse Barbara at my RE, and she seemed concerned but told me to take some tylenol and rest, so that is what I did.

C drove my car home, I collapsed on my bed, while my hubby C brought me tylenol.  I don't understand what that was?  After falling asleep in the fetal position and not moving an ounce, I did feel better, but not great!  Last night I could still barely stand up right, but I could move around and I didn't feel like I was going to die.

Today, 4dp5dt, I do feel much better.  However my stomach is very distended, and it almost feels like I have OHSS again, painful when walking etc.  I know that is not possible.  None of it makes sense.  My uterus is sore and I'm cramping a lot today.  My BB's are NOT sore at all, however I do have some sharp pains in my nipples from time to time.

We did go to church this morning, and I just put my boys to bed for nap.... Now Mommy can rest! Feet up!  I don't really know what else to do or what went wrong.  What I do know is that if labor feels that bad, I KNOW I will need an epidural! YIKES!

I will leave you with a little IF humor...

hahahaha... HAPPY SUNDAY...  Or Seven more sleeps til BETA!