Just finished my last day of Lupron! Woot woot!!
Lining Check... DONE!
Bloodwork... DONE!
See my twins behind the dildo cams? They are such good boys!
I've been pretty good on the lupron except for the last few days. I've been super emotional. It has not helped that my brother and his girlfriend just announced that they are "accidentally" expecting. Hearing my moms joy for this new baby to be just broke me. Everyone knows what we have been through this past year, so much loss and heartbreak. She knows we are going through IVF again. It made me want to STOP sharing my story with anyone. NO one gets the pain. No one knows what its like to go through IF. This just makes me want to keep it all in, and share with only my IVF and IF sisters.
Everyone is just so excited over this baby, which I know i will love too, but the timing couldn't be more terrible. Here we are, married, doing what is 'right', and they accidentally get knocked up, while i go and give my self drugs, shots in the gut! She didn't even want kids. When I said congrats to her, she was like, 'haha ya thanks.' She has no idea the gift she has been given.
My heart breaks, but I am holding on to a tiny bit of hope for us, for my boys, who are also praying a baby!
Tomorrow is going to be DAY 1 for stims! Here is what my meds are...
AM-baby aspirin, 5iu lupron, 1 cc menopur
PM- 100iu gonal-f
Last IVF I stimmed for 11 days. I'm guessing it will be about the same!
LETS DO THIS!
4 comments:
It is so hard, and makes you so vulnerable but keep your eye on the prize. Best of luck!!
Day 1 of stims today!!!!!! When is your first follicle check?? How exciting! Your twins in the background are such good boys. I zoomed in on them an chuckled. Such cuties!!! I'm so sorry about your brothers girlfriend. That information is never ever easy to hear. 💜💜🙏🙏🌈🌈
Thank you so much! I'm having a much better day today... Eye on the prize for sure! Two shots down... A million to go! ;)
Yay!!! Thank you!!! I forgot how much menapur burns! Ouch! I go back Monday for just an e2 check and then Wednesday for my first follicle check!
Ya, worst timing with the bro! Just praying God can use this baby to help him find Jesus! Something good has to come of it! :-/
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