Thursday, October 7, 2010
I just need to vent. I have had an emotional day. Not really anyone I know can relate to what I'm feeling at the moment, which only makes matters worse (Thank God for this BLOG). I just kinda feel empty right now, which is the complete opposite of what I've been feeling for the past few weeks (aka on fire for Jesus! LOL). Anyways, I have been so excited about my small group... lots of women, hopefully going to meet some amazing Christian friends, excited about the topic, etc. Well it was all going well until today. I went to what felt like a mom's group rather than a womens bible study. UGH! So frustrating. Yes, many of the questions were related to the bible, how we deal with life, etc., but the leader kept saying "what have attitudes do you want your children to learn from you" or "what have your children taught you ... CHILDREN, CHILDREN, CHILDREN (thats all I could hear after a bit)!" I'm like I DON'T HAVE ANY FREAKIN KIDS LADY!!! Obviously I did not say that. But I did feel like screaming it and walking out. The only reason I didn't was because I would look like a RAGING LUNATIC! ha! Its sad, I'm sad. I feel like crying I'm so sad. Part of me never wants to go back to this group, but I know I should because that is exactly what the devil would want. Part of me wants to say something privately to the group leader about how she phrases the questions and if she could be a little more sensitive to the INFERTILE of the group, but I know that is not technically fair since that is what the MAJORITY of the women are dealing with... children. I'm not really sure what to do. Prayer would be good... for you prayer warriors out there, please pray for me that God gives me the strength and the wisdom to get through this and so that I may have a better attitude during the meetings. I know its not their fault. They cannot help that they have children (One lady actually had her baby there!), they can't help that God has blessed them with the ability to concieve (so easily?). Blah blah blah. Ok I'm done. That is my venting for the day. I really needed to get this of my chest and talk to someone... anyone! ha! I'm not sure there are even many readers, but this is me...being real.... venting. Advice? Would love some!!